Childhood Diseases

Posted by: blossom | 2010-02-21



I hope you can help me. I am a single mom of a 13 month old boy. I am currently living with my father and trying to find a job. My father is a hot tempered person and has already given my son a very hard slap on the legs when he was being noisy. I am so worried as if I make an scene, he may throw us out. I try and keep my son away from him, but it is hard when he is home. My son has become so clinging that he becomes hysterical when he can t see me. I do not have other options at the moment and I know my son is picking up my tension by being so clinging. My father does not interact with him and has never looked after him in any way.

Expert's Reply



This is all very sad.It is such a pity that your father who should be proud of and loving towards his grandson is just the opposite. In fact by making you so tense and unhappy and by slapping your son he has caused such stress and tension that your baby is terrified and is very anxious.You cannot continue to live under these circumstances.Your father needs to be warned that if he hits your baby again you will report him to the nearest social services.Is there no other place where you can stay in the meantime, possibly with a friend? The only way forward is for you to find work and to try get your own place to stay.Your baby's father is responsible for supporting him and you are also eligible for a child grant.You need to discuss your problems with the nearest social worker.

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user comments


Posted by: Purple | 2010-02-22

What a horrible situation.

Step up your efforts to find work so that you can get out of there fast.
Have you registered with a temp agency so that you can at least do temp work while looking for permanent work?
Check career junction, careers24 and pnet sites daily for jobs.
Get your local newspaper and check the job supplement which comes out weekly (and apply on that day for all the jobs that you think you could do).
Make appointments with at least 5 agencies.

Can you try to stay with a friend and find a day time waitressing job while you look for work?
Could you work as an assistant at your child''s creche?
Apply at supermarkets for a job at a till as something to keep you going while you search.

Good luck.
Give your son a lot of reassurance, cuddle him a lot.
Clinginess at this age is quite normal, but your father is making it worse. There is no reason to hit a child of this age (or any child actually), it is far easier to put things out of reach.
All children this age make a noise, they haven''t yet learnt to use their inside voice inside. Your father is being completely irrational in expecting a 13 month old to keep quiet - he is expecting behaviour you would expect from a 3 year old from a tiny little toddler.

Reply to Purple

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