Childhood Diseases

Question
Posted by: HMom | 2010-11-29

Q.

Child hitting mom

Hi Dr, I saw my daughters cousin, also a girl who turned 2 in September hit her mom a few times and hard when she couldnt get her own way. her lip started hanging and she hit her mom in the face and on her shoulders, but in anger and quite aggressivly (wll in my opinion anyway). We were at a play place so we left but to my amazement she went bezerk in the car - screaming and crying and sticking her finger down her throat almost to the point of vomiting and apparently her mom who was also almost in tears said that this is what she does quite often and she has no idea how to handle it. Would you have any advice for her? Talking doesnt help - she doesnt even hear. The mom def. has problems disciping tho.

Expert's Reply

A.

Paediatrician

I don't have to tell you that this behaviour is completely unacceptable.The problem is that this little girl who is biting and hitting her Mom is that she does this in public where it is not so easy to deal with without a huge amount of screaming, crying and anger being caused.Her Mom must immediately tel her to"Stop doing that!' if she tries to bite he or if she tries to hit her. She must speak in a clear firm voice and show that she means what she says. If her daughter does not stop immediately she must take her to her room and close the door. She must not be let out unless she stops crying. She must say she is sorry each time and unless she says she is sorry she must remain in her room until she is ready to say 'Sorry'.This must be done very time she tries to hit or bite. If she bites when she is away from home she must go to her room when she gets home.

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1
user comments

C.

Posted by: Purple | 2010-11-29

Often toddlers who get smacked for discipline react in this way - as it is the example they have been shown about how to behave when you don''t get your way.

The book Toddler Taming by Dr. Christopher Green is really practical and full of useful advice.

The important things you need to get across to this mom is that she needs to decide on a few rules for the house and apply them consistently.
If her child has a tantrum like this when told no, then she needs to be removed from company in some way, such as put in her bedroom or the bathroom or taken to the car (but moms stands right there with her back to the car) if they are out in public.
IF I''ve been disobeyed I give a minute of time out per year of age, but for tantrums, it goes on until the child calms down.
We then discuss the matter. With toddlers, you just say - " that was not nice" , " you need to say sorry to me" .
Hitting should definitely get time out.

Try to get her to watch those parenting shows on BBC and eTV like super nanny and so on.

Things are just going to get worse if she doesn''t remember that she''s the adult and needs to take charge.

Reply to Purple

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