Childhood Diseases

Question
Posted by: Mom | 2010-03-05

Q.

Behaviour Problems

Hi

I have four kids  7 1/2, 5 1/2 , 3 1/2 and 5 months old. My three year old has been having so many issues since the birth of the baby.

Firstly our home enviroment is rather good and my 3 year old is still at home with me- sleeps in the same room and does get attention from both me and my husband. He has started getting a real bad temper and whenever he gets reprimanded he almost always goes to ''attack'' the baby. He always goes after her nose- pinches it and rubs her face real hard. When she is alseep he goes to her and makes loud sounds to wake her up. He even tried to sit on her a few times. We just have to be ever so watchful when he is around her.

Another big issue is that he refuses to be potty trained even though I have been doing it gradually for some time now. the worse of all is that when he poos in his diaper he likes to sit down so that it gets smashed all around his bottom- he just laughs about it. We tried potty training charts, positive reinforcemnet but nothing helps. For bad behaviour we tried time out but he doesnt take it serious and laughs about it too.

My older two are rather well behaved. I dont know what to do??

Thanks

Expert's Reply

A.

Paediatrician

It is very obvious that sibling rivalry or just plain old fashioned jealousy is the main problem with your 3 year old.He is getting up to some tricks which are getting to be dangerous.Sibling rivalry can be very unpleasant but it is a fact of life.Try your best to involve your 3 year old with a few tasks for his baby sister. Keep emphasisg that he is the big brother. When you have to intervene to stop him do so firmly and clearly. Do not beg him to stop.If he perists he must go to his room. Close the door and do not let him out until he is quiet and says he is sorry. If he does not say sorry he must stay in his room until he does. Make sure that he does not enjoy his time out. If he laughs about it put him back in his room. You will only be able to recommence his toilet training once you have got his behaviour right because he is attention seeking with his unacceptable smearing of his nappies etc.

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1
user comments

C.

Posted by: Purple | 2010-03-05

Isn''t this quite normal behaviour when a new baby arrives?

I''m sure it will pass so long as you are consistent about dealing with it and he continues to get the good positive attention you are already getting him.
The naughtiness is probably just because he is usedd to getting a lot more attnetion than he gets now - babies do take up an awful lot of time.

I''m from a family of four children too, and I''m the oldest, and I can remember the horror of my sisters arrival when I was three. I pinched her, pulled her hair, I even bit her bum once. My sister in turn remembers the next sisters arrival with equal horror. It was another ten years until our brothes arrival and we all remember it fondly. Our youngest sister still pretended to be a baby quite a bit and we still tease her about how difficult she was at the time. My mom did with us pretty much what you are doing and things came right over time. We all get along fine now, and we''re in our thirties except our little brother, and I haven''t bitten my sisters bum for years now. I think you just have to keep on doing what you are doing and wait for things to get better - as they always do " this too shall pass..."  and all that.

With regard to the potty training, maybe you should just leave it for a while. It won''t be long and he''ll e asking to wear underpants rather than a nappy.

Reply to Purple

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