Childhood Diseases

Question
Posted by: anon | 2011-03-08

Q.

7 year with no respect

my 7 year old daughter has been going through some mood swings over the past 6 months now - she basically has no respect for me, talks to me anyhow and treats me like i am nobody unless she wants something. this morning on my way to work the way she spoke to me i just burst out crying in front of her - i couldnt handle it anymore - i am also 36 weeks pregnant - could the pregnancy be affecting her? i am actually going through depression because of this. i do discipline her but that doesnt seem to be working? i am going mad - please help me

Expert's Reply

A.

Paediatrician

It is unusual for a 7 year old to be behaving like this and it is probably the fact that you are pregnant that is the cause.You say that you are depressed and at present you are not coping with her behaviour. Unfortunately crying in front of her may actually aggravate her behaviour and reinforce her disrespectful attitude.Give her as much love as you can now, she is very worried about the new arrival.Your husband had better start helping here as it is unfair to expect you to handle her rudeness to you all alone. He should make it clear that her behaviour will not be tolerated and the next time she shows any disrespect she must be put in her room and not allowed out until she says 'sorry'. This must be done each and every time she behaves like this. He should also give her as much quality time as he can now.

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3
user comments

C.

Posted by: CallMeOld | 2011-03-18

I don''t think taking away sports and play time outside is the best thing to do. Children need excercise. Taking away TV, Playstation and sweets etc works wonders.

Just don''t give in if they start nagging to get these things back. Keep strong and always remember your children will be better off if you discipline them properly.

Reply to CallMeOld
Posted by: anon | 2011-03-09

thanx purple - atleast i feel much better now - i will try the star chart - and thanx doc for your advice as well - i feel 100% better

Reply to anon
Posted by: Purple | 2011-03-09

I also have a seven year old and am friends with many other moms of seven year olds and this is very normal behaviour at this age. They are cheeky and difficult and like mini teenagers.

Just keep up with your discipline and use a chart with stars on it where at the end of each day she can get a star if she has not been cheeky all day. If she has managed a whole week without an incident, then she can get a small sweet on the Sunday. If she is cheeky after the day''s star is on the chart, you can remove it.
It will come right so long as you keep consistent with the discipline measures you are taking.
I find that those that work best are time out (for me to alm down), removing priveleges like TV watching, playing sport or other extra murals, threatening to tell his teacher, not giving money for friday tuck shop, notd taking him swimming or to the beach, removing favourite toys and play station and wii etc. Smacking tends to worsen the problem as it gets everyone upset and shouting and just escalates things - which is why I don''t use it for discipline (though I''m no saint and of course my child has had his bum walloped a few times - that''s how I know it releases my tension but worsens the situation). Calmness is key.

I" m also pregnant, though am on anti depressants due to being depressed in my last pregnancy and having post natal depression last time. I am finding that this is affecting my son too - his usual behaviour is just worse, although he''s very excited for baby.
Speak to your gynae about anti depressants for your sake, your child''s sake and your baby''s sake.

I feel for you as I''m in a similar boat right now.

Reply to Purple

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