Childhood Diseases

Posted by: yla | 2009-07-27


3.5 year old &  tantrums

I have two daughters aged 3 and a half and 5 years old.

I live with my parents and siblings. Earlier this year the younger one started sleeping with my sister in her room. We have tried everthing to get her to come back and sleep with us but she just refuses. Also, lately she has started having terrible tantrums i.e fighting with all of us in the house and especially her older sister. Many nights she just refuses to fall asleep (she will sit up with her eyes closed in my sister' s bed and refuse to lie down and she does not want my sister or me to go sleep) this will last for up to 3 or 4 hours with me pleading with her to go sleep and it ends with me giving her a spanking and then she will listen to me and go sleep, she cries and moans almost every day for things that' s not hers like her sister' s toys and our personal stuff or for certain toys she thinks she' s lost while playing during the day and demand us to start looking for it and cry further cos we cannot find that specific toy.
The more I spank her it seems the more she is becoming stubborn. Sometimes it seems as if she just does not see us as her parents and does not heed any of my reprimands.
On her good days she can be the sweetest child any mother would want.
I am at my wits end. My sister wants her out of her room. I don' t know what do anymore with this constantly crying child. Please help.

Expert's Reply



This is a good example of how spanking a child just increases the problem.You will read many questions on this forum about tantrums and and the main piece of advice is that you must speak clearly and firmly and speak only once. Do not plead with your daughter. Show her that you mean what you say and simply walk out of the room where she is performing. She must be alone in the room. Close the door and do not return until she has stopped crying.Do this every time she has a tantrum and without an audience she will soon stop.

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