HIV/Aids

Updated 09 January 2017

Denial very nearly kills HIV positive woman

A young Free State woman was afraid of being rejected after revealing her HIV status, but was pleasantly surprised when her friends and family rallied around her.

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A young HIV positive woman who was prepared to do almost anything to hide her status has come to the realisation that living openly and honestly has freed her to realise her full potential.

'Still I kept quiet'

Dieketseng Majola* (26) from Bohlokong near Bethlehem in the Free State says she was never ready to reveal her status to anybody. She was afraid of being judged, afraid of the consequences, and afraid of being accused of infecting her partner

But all that changed after she had baby.

“I gave birth early this year and still I kept quiet about my status. After that I started losing so much weight. But still, I couldn't reveal the truth because I was ashamed and scared of what people would think of me – especially my friends. They were the first to tell me that the father of my child was sick with HIV,” Majola said.

“Our relationship didn't last for long. When it ended I told myself that I should let my family and friends know that I am positive because rumours were already going around saying I infected my child’s father. This was even though he is the one who gave me the infection.”

Read: HIV-positive: what now?

Eventually Majola felt brave enough to tell her closest friends first. Then she watched them become distant.

“But with time they came back to me and helped me through everything. I started living happily and I became healthier. We would exercise together and they would attend support groups with me. Now I am focused on life again. I went back to school to study further at Bethlehem College,” she said.

Best to be open

"I now have a loving and caring fiancé who is also HIV positive. We are living a happy life we even remind each other to take our medication."

Majola says she is happier now that she has accepted her status, she takes her medication daily and is openly HIV positive. Even her family are supportive.

“At first I was very angry when I found out that my child was living with HIV. It took me months before I could talk to her, but at the end I forgave her for hiding it from me. I am glad that she is now healthy and taking treatment and also loves her own child unconditionally,” said Majola’s mother, Matsoane Majola*.

Read: New hope for HIV positive individuals

Moeketsi Moloi, an agent from support group Love Life, said it was best for people to be open about their status after hearing that they are HIV positive.

“It’s better for them to open up to other people because keeping it inside will cause stress and depression. For a sick person, revealing the truth and accepting their status is a better way to live and helps them heal faster emotionally,” Moloi said.

(* - not their real names)

Read more:

What to do when a pregnant women tests HIV positive

Charlie Sheen urges other HIV-positive stars to come forward

60 percent of sex workers are HIV positive

Health-e News is South Africa’s award-winning dedicated health news service producing news and in-depth analysis for the country’s print and television media.

 

Ask the Expert

HIV/Aids expert

Dr Sindisiwe van Zyl qualified at the University of Pretoria before working for an HIV/AIDS NPO in Soweto for many years. She was named one of the Mail & Guardian's Top 200 Young South Africans in 2012.

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