Colds and flu

Updated 11 July 2014

Quotes and jokes about flu

There is a lighter side of flu - yes, really.

The patient went to his doctor because he had flu, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing. The patient put it in his pocket, but forgot to get the tablets from the pharmacy. Every morning, for two years, he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass. Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the soccer stadium, and once into the symphony. He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from his boss. One day he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the conservatory of music.

“Being ill is one of the greatest pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work until one is better.” Samuel Butler

“The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases.” Caskie Stinnet

Patient : Tell me doctor, is this flu serious?
Doctor : Well I wouldn’t advise you to start watching any serials on TV.

Bombeck’s rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

“One of the minor pleasures in life is to be slightly ill.” Harold Nicholson

The doctor tells the patient he has very bad flu. The patient says he wants a second opinion. The doctor says, ”OK, you’re ugly too”.

“A doctor is the only man without a guaranteed cure for the cold”. Dominic Cleary

“The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while Nature affects the cure.” Voltaire

“If a doctor treats your cold, it will go away in fourteen days. If you leave it alone, it will go away in two weeks. Gloria Silverstein

A man walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, ”Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
“Do you mean aspirin?” says the pharmacist.
“That’s it, I can never remember that word.”

“My dear doctor, I’m surprised to hear you say that I am coughing very badly, because I have been practicing all night.” John Philpot Curran

 

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Ask the Expert

Flu expert

Dr Heidi van Deventer completed her MBChB (Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery) degree in 2004 at the University of Stellenbosch.
She has additional training in ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support) and PALS (Paediatric Advanced Life Support) as well as biostatistics and epidemiology.

Dr Van Deventer is currently working as a researcher at the Desmond Tutu Tuberculosis Centre at the University of Stellenbosch.

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