Depression

Question
Posted by: madelaine | 2017/11/21

Q.

confused

hi, i have asked for your opinion before regarding my copious amounts of medication. i feel that i am at my wits end! just a refresher, for breakfast it's250mg Metformin (for my weight) 300mg Venlor, 100ug Euthyrox(for my weight as i gain weight on anti-depressants and that makes me more depressed), for supper it's 1mg Ativan s/l, 500mg Metformin, 100mg Toplep, 100mg Serdep, 300mg Dopaquel, 500mgCamcolit, 20mg Zolpidem. i also drink a couple of beers at night to relax. my problem is that we have 1 practice from where all our towns psychiatrists practice. so they all know each other etc. i can't get a second opinion. i have been stuck in this eternal abyss since 2007. some days are darker than others. i've been into "hospital" 4 times and hated it, but they were trying to get my meds stable. i have also undergone the "shocking " experience with little effect. i have attempted suicide a few times but to no avail. i don't really want to i just want the flashes and pain to go. when i take +-30 zolpidem - (then i have to ask for more from my Dr), then i don't have bad dreams. i sleep like the dead, however i then feel like a zombie the next day. i just want to feel the release of the heaviness on my shoulders, to be able to function without panic attacks. will i ever be free of this darkness? these flashes, the black-outs, the pain, the panic and terror. it will only end when i do?

Expert's Reply

A.

Depression expert
- 2017/11/22

Hi Madelaine,
Metformin is a drug used to treat diabetes, not for treating weight problems.
Euthyrox is levothyroxine a treatment for people with am underactive thyroid gland, who need a booster to their usual levels of this thyroid hormone : it is not usually used to deal with weight problems
Toplep is Topiramate, a drug used to treat epilepsy and migraine ; and so on.  I really don't understand the rationale for the treatment you are receiving. I understand the problem if you only have easy access to a handful of psychiatrists who know each other well.  Is it possible that you could arrange an appointment to see someone in the academic dept of psychiatry of your nearest medical school, for a second opinion ? Try to get copies of your medical records and prescriptions to take with you.
I'm sure it should be possible to free you from the symptoms you find to oppressive, but I do think a fresh viewpoint is needed.

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user comments

C.

Posted by: madelaine | 2017/11/23

i hear what you are saying, but he told me that the Metformin would make my kidneys process sugar faster and that the euthyrox would speed up my metabolism. the toplep is possibly for my severe headaches but is also supposed to have a good side effect being that it can also cause weight loss. the problem is that i can't be overweight, the Dopaquel & Venlor do tend to make me gain weight and that causes even worse depression and self-loathing. and obviously ever since my husband cheated on me i have become absolutely obsessed with my weight. i eat weetbix for breakfast and a fruit mid afternoon. yet i remain on a plateau of +-57kg. i have changed from Castle to Castle-lite. i know i am not an easy patient, hence the extremely long course of treatments - since 2007. sometimes things get totally out of control and i become completely overwhelmed. there are times where i lose hours because my defense mechanisms kick in and i obviously "go-away". i'm not sure if it is because of the medication or despite the medication. but i do vaguely remember as a child that when things became too hard i would "go-inside" where there was a silver pond and purple and pink hanging fronds, near the pool was a bench. i always went to the bench, sat down and waited. most times someone would join me. sometimes it was my dead mother(she died when i was 10. sometimes it was a kindly old lady. but as long as i was there i was OK. but a lot of the time i had to first make sure my baby sister was safe first. why cant i just switch it all off. anyway sorry im waffling. my Dr would never give me my medical records, but i do have a copy of one of my scripts. i'm too scared to go for a second opinion, what if he then decides that he won't be my Dr anymore because i second guessed him. i would never be able to survive coming off my cocktail in cold turkey. i can't afford to go hospital again. i also can't afford to lose my job, without it my children would have to rely on their father. omg no can't consider that. sorry.

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