ADHD

Question
Posted by: KATI | 2010/05/27

Q.

TEMPER AND TANTRUMS

My son is 4 years and 9 months, has terrible temper and tantrums. He breaks his toys when angry, will beat his older brother for no reason and after he will cry and claims that his brother has beaten him. He want to read and write at his own terms. what must i do? FRUSTRATED MOTHER

Expert's Reply

A.

ADHD Expert

Dear Kati,

The best way to deal with temper tantrums with a child your son's age is to praise and reward good behaviour and ignore the poor behaviour. If he shouts at you, kneel to his eye level and say 'I will listen when you talk nicely' and then ignore him while he continues to shout. I will warn that his behaviour is likely to get worse before it gets better; this can take anywhere from one to three weeks. The most important part is to be consistent. If something is not ok today, it can't be ok tomorrow; this will send him mixed messages and will confuse him.

It is sometimes easier for parents to write down what behaviours they want their children to exhibit and what behaviours they want to eliminate. For every behaviour you want to eliminate write down your response; use the example of shouting above. This way you don't have to think of what to say when the situation arises.

Praise every time he behaves well; he will soon realise that if he behaves he gets your attention.

Good luck,
Delia

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1
user comments

C.

Posted by: ADD/ADHD Expert | 2010/05/28

Dear Kati,

The best way to deal with temper tantrums with a child your son's age is to praise and reward good behaviour and ignore the poor behaviour. If he shouts at you, kneel to his eye level and say 'I will listen when you talk nicely' and then ignore him while he continues to shout. I will warn that his behaviour is likely to get worse before it gets better; this can take anywhere from one to three weeks. The most important part is to be consistent. If something is not ok today, it can't be ok tomorrow; this will send him mixed messages and will confuse him.

It is sometimes easier for parents to write down what behaviours they want their children to exhibit and what behaviours they want to eliminate. For every behaviour you want to eliminate write down your response; use the example of shouting above. This way you don't have to think of what to say when the situation arises.

Praise every time he behaves well; he will soon realise that if he behaves he gets your attention.

Good luck,
Delia

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