ADHD

Question
Posted by: Charl vb | 2010/07/29

Q.

my little 8 year old son

Please help , I am in dire straits regarding my son ,He is on concerta 36mg , he is in a lsob school and is progressing but the problem is that they are 12 in a class, and all the kids has the same problem,medication and adhd, but however,he is aggresive and was in a school fight ( teacher informed me),
twice in 6 months, what can i do ,
is it the meds or underlying problem, he is spiteful and wont co operate with his teacher or me, what now, I approached the pshycologist at school and they will talk to him, but what can we do as parents , he has no self esteem, what so ever, does not feel good about himself, I am at wits end and feel like i failed him as a parent.any guidelines to handle the situation?

Expert's Reply

A.

ADHD Expert

Dear Charl vb,

Low self esteem is very common among children with ADHD; school has generally been difficult for them and they feel they are not as clever as their peers.

Similarly, your feelings are very common among the parents, but they are unfounded. Every parent wishes the best for their children and the very fact that you have provided him an education environment with smaller classes is evidence of that.

Giving your son clear boundaries, routine and consequences for breaking the boundaries or routine will help level his behaviour.

Boundaries and routines can be provided verbally or visually, the latter usually works better with younger children. A chart with 'dinner time' on the top and pictures of sitting quietly at the table, saying please and thank you, etc.

You can make a chart for the situations where disruptive behaviours are most common and make a booklet which is easily accessible. Let him help you decorate it and make it a book for the whole family, not just him.

It is essential that everyone in the family behave according to the booklet, and everyone has a consequence if they don't. In this way, you can model the correct behaviour for him; if shouting is something that is not allowed, and mom or dad shout, they have a consequence of not being able to watch TV tonight.

Be careful no to allow your son to manipulate this and become the parent, dishing out consequences to you.

Best wishes,
Delia

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
user comments

C.

Posted by: ADD/ADHD Expert | 2010/07/30

Dear Charl vb,

Low self esteem is very common among children with ADHD; school has generally been difficult for them and they feel they are not as clever as their peers.

Similarly, your feelings are very common among the parents, but they are unfounded. Every parent wishes the best for their children and the very fact that you have provided him an education environment with smaller classes is evidence of that.

Giving your son clear boundaries, routine and consequences for breaking the boundaries or routine will help level his behaviour.

Boundaries and routines can be provided verbally or visually, the latter usually works better with younger children. A chart with 'dinner time' on the top and pictures of sitting quietly at the table, saying please and thank you, etc.

You can make a chart for the situations where disruptive behaviours are most common and make a booklet which is easily accessible. Let him help you decorate it and make it a book for the whole family, not just him.

It is essential that everyone in the family behave according to the booklet, and everyone has a consequence if they don't. In this way, you can model the correct behaviour for him; if shouting is something that is not allowed, and mom or dad shout, they have a consequence of not being able to watch TV tonight.

Be careful no to allow your son to manipulate this and become the parent, dishing out consequences to you.

Best wishes,
Delia

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