The difficulty you are likely to face is getting your husband to willingly go for an assessment. There is very little you can do without his cooperation. Getting him to listen and understand your frustrations may help, however, from what you have said, it does appear that he is aware of the mis-information he is passing on. Without him being aware of it, it will be very difficult for him to do anything about it.
It may well be a delayed stress response to his previous work, but again, without his buy in there is nothing you can do about it.
I would suggest trying to explain how his behaviours impact on those around him and see if you can convince him, it sounds as though you have tried but it may need more time.
Please be aware that if it is ADHD, it is not something he can easily control and change. The family's support will be essential.
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