ADHD

Question
Posted by: Dee | 2010/02/22

Q.

Effective discipline for ADD child

My daughter of 10 has been diagnosed with ADD with inattention and anxiety. She has been on Strattera for 6 months. The star charts with R5 per day as a reward works brilliantly so mornings are much easier. My main concerns at present are:
a) her table manners. Have been trying to get her to eat with her mouth closed for 2 years. She zones out and forgets to close her mouth. Mealtimes are a nightmare. Causes such tension.
b) her feeling like she does not so anything right. I think this more when she is tired. If I tell her off (i.e. for putting fishtank wet lid on top of her laptop, for leaving wet towel on floor).....she cries and says she does not do anything right. I do not want to moan at her all the time how to do x, y and z, but I need to show her the right way which upsets her. I repeat alot of things which also pees her off. She hates being told what to do. I do always try to pick up on what she does right and praise her. But it does not help her to remember to do the repetitive things i.e. to put the lid down on the toilet, turn off lights. I try and not make too many rules and there arent many. I do not want to " let things go"  and want to be consistent, but at the same time I do not want her to feel defeated as much as she does.

Expert's Reply

A.

ADHD Expert

Dear Dee,

It is wonderful to hear of the strategies your are successfully using. Your two remaining concerns are very valid and I am pleased you are aiming for consistency.

With regards to the table manners, could you not include this into her star chart? If this reward system has worked well perhaps including a new item to the list will be enough of a reminder.

Your daughter's feeling of not being able to do anything is right is a common perception among children with ADD; it may be exacerbated by her anxiety. I am not certain how you remind her of the right way to do things, perhaps using a lighter tone or making a joke of 'oh dear you did it again' or tickling her instead of saying anything may be less stressful for her.

For the routine things she forgets, perhaps little notes stuck around the house to serve as reminders 'for everyone' would help. You can remove the notes in a few weeks once the tasks become routine.

Best wishes,
Delia

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1
user comments

C.

Posted by: ADD/ADHD Expert | 2010/02/25

Dear Dee,

It is wonderful to hear of the strategies your are successfully using. Your two remaining concerns are very valid and I am pleased you are aiming for consistency.

With regards to the table manners, could you not include this into her star chart? If this reward system has worked well perhaps including a new item to the list will be enough of a reminder.

Your daughter's feeling of not being able to do anything is right is a common perception among children with ADD; it may be exacerbated by her anxiety. I am not certain how you remind her of the right way to do things, perhaps using a lighter tone or making a joke of 'oh dear you did it again' or tickling her instead of saying anything may be less stressful for her.

For the routine things she forgets, perhaps little notes stuck around the house to serve as reminders 'for everyone' would help. You can remove the notes in a few weeks once the tasks become routine.

Best wishes,
Delia

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