It is wonderful to hear of the strategies your are successfully using. Your two remaining concerns are very valid and I am pleased you are aiming for consistency.
With regards to the table manners, could you not include this into her star chart? If this reward system has worked well perhaps including a new item to the list will be enough of a reminder.
Your daughter's feeling of not being able to do anything is right is a common perception among children with ADD; it may be exacerbated by her anxiety. I am not certain how you remind her of the right way to do things, perhaps using a lighter tone or making a joke of 'oh dear you did it again' or tickling her instead of saying anything may be less stressful for her.
For the routine things she forgets, perhaps little notes stuck around the house to serve as reminders 'for everyone' would help. You can remove the notes in a few weeks once the tasks become routine.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.