ADHD

Question
Posted by: Caryn | 2017/10/11

Q.

Diagnosing child with ADHD.

I have 2 daughters 3 and 4 years old. I am 37, been married nearly 19 years but was diagnosed with PCOS and was told it would be unlikely for me to conceive or carry to term. against all odds I had 2 healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. however my youngest seems very hard for me to control. I was a day mother for many years while childless and i find raising my 2 girls so hard. they are complete opposites of each other. My eldest is softhearted, very cautious and mellow, quite happy to be left alone to do her own thing all day. however she also sometimes seems too mellow as she ignores everyone when she is "in the zone" be it playing with her toys, drawing or watching tv. she seems physically slow as she is only now starting to climb down 2 steps without sitting or holding...the day she was born she got a fright when she saw me as i tried to kiss her for the first time. she is also quite shy but loves singing and dancing. My younger daughter is the complete opposite! she is rough, plays rough, is loud, cant stand still for a moment. she is always grabbing stuff away from her sister and runs away with it. if i tell her not to touch something she still goes and touches it. If i tell her not to do something she will show me she will do it. I have tried all punishment techniques from hidings, to time out, to taking away privileges, the one which works best so far is for eg. if she takes her seatbelt off while driving she will first throw a 5 min tantrum that looks like she is demon possessed when i try put it back on, then i will pull over and tell her to get out and walk. After a few more moments of kicking and screaming (most of the time hurting herself or whoever is near her) she will calm down and put it on. and that is how it goes for everything. those tantrums, i've tried giving hidings but it gets worse, time out makes it worse and the only way to calm her is to either give her her way before the tantrum or to say sorry for making her angry and holding her. I feel like a terrible mother and giving her her way is SO wrong but the one time she literally kicked her bedroom door off its hinges, she throws her body against anything and everything and i am afraid she will one day hurt herself badly. she also never stands still. even when i for eg. am pouring her a drink of water, she is constantly moving and laying against stuff till she falls and again hurts herself. she permanently bumps her toes and falls over. Could it be ADHD or am i just failing?

Expert's Reply

A.

ADHD Expert
- 2017/10/13

Dear Caryn

The situation seems complex, and it is clearly creating distress for you.
It is important that both your daughters be assessed by a pediatrician/ pediatric neurologist or psychiatrist. It is impossible to give a diagnostic opinion without a comprehensive assessment of your girls.
Kind regards

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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