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Help, I can't pee straight

You first noticed it at the school urinal, with its long expanses of metal wall. All the other boys managed a steady stream and may even have boasted about writing the hockey coach's full name with it. You wet your shoes and your classmates. Since then you’ve peed in private. Here’s why.

 
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Your embarrassment about your wayward stream is all in the mind, but its source is firmly anatomical. Look carefully at your urine stream as it leaves the penis and you’ll see a twist in the liquid. This is because the urethra (the tube that leads your urine from your bladder to the outside world) is flattened on top, like a squashed “O” or an oval resting on its side.

But you’ve probably noticed that at the end of the penis the opening (called the meatus) is shaped like an ellipse, or an eye standing on one end. Ironically, it’s this last-minute change in shape that helps the urine stay in a single stream, saving on dry-cleaning bills and making it safe to wear suede shoes.

It’s really the same principle as a rifle barrel, but without the licence requirements. The twisting motion keeps things straight when you pee - very handy. So why do some blokes have a spray like a wet shotgun? If there’s anything stuck on in the mouth of the meatus, the straightforward flow of liquid will be disrupted. You might just blast whatever it is (a hair, or a bit of sticky residue) out of the way.

If you have a weak bladder muscle, you'll have to force the urine to flow, resulting in a wayward squirt of liquid. You may also have a condition called hypospadias, where the meatus is a little underneath the head of the penis, rather than at the tip. Some blokes who’ve had this problem corrected have found that the repair job disrupts their urine stream.

If you're really concerned about it, see your GP. He or she may refer you to a urologist, who’ll be able to help.


 
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