People seldom complain about the ups in life, but as soon as they hit the bottom, Agony Aunt develops an acute hearing condition. That’s because the good times never seem to last as long as the bad, and no one enjoys waking up every morning feeling like they’re stuck in a rut.
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If this depressing outlook on life is ringing any bells for you, maybe it’s time you took a moment to re-evaluate your life. If you feel your life is stale, and nothing more than routine, you’re stuck in a rut and it’s time to make some changes - not tomorrow, not next week, but now.
What’s the problem?
It’s a lot easier acknowledging that you’re in a rut than it is identifying what has put you there. Spend an afternoon alone, and try to identify exactly what it is in your life that is making you unhappy.
Think about your job - how long have you been there for? Have you made any real progress during your time there? Have you been promoted, or do you see yourself moving up in the near future? If you’ve spent a good number of years at the same job and have seen no promotions and minimal increases, you should consider looking for something else. If the spark and ambition for your current job has flickered out, it’s time to move on.
Consider your relationship. Are you happy? Do you feel like the only reason you are with your partner is because of the comfort zone the relationship creates? If so, it could be time to throw in the towel. Meeting someone new and developing a fresh connection with them is exciting, invigorating and may just be the breath of fresh air you need to get your life back into gear.
Maybe it’s time to relocate. Sometimes a shock to the system can be inspiring, and moving to a new city will do just that. Suddenly you have a new set of responsibilities, new social circles to develop and new shortcuts to work to find. A new setting might just be what the doctor ordered.
I’m stuck – I think
If you’re still unsure of whether or not you are actually in a rut, consider the following:
When last did you do something for the first time? If you can’t remember doing anything even vaguely exciting in your business or personal life over the past year, it’s time to spice up your life. Go out and do something for the first time.
Are you still ambitious? When you first started working, you were sure one day you’d be in the boss’s office? If these days you just go to the office, do your work and go home, it’s time to get your spark back. Revaluate
Do you have a list of unachieved goals? What happened to going to gym three times a week, or going somewhere different every New Years? It’s time to beef up that itinerary again.
Always the victim? If in your life you are constantly shifting the blame, it’s a sign that you need to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for your actions.
When was the last time you made a big mistake? If you’re taking the safe route instead of going for gold like you used to, you’ll never risk failure, but you’ll also never risk success. Go for it - get that flare back.
Looking deeper
Sometimes it takes more than just a stagnant job or fizzled relationship to land someone at rock bottom. There are often underlying issues that can add to that feeling of repetitiveness, and you might struggle to identify these negative elements.
Are you currently suffering from depression? We all go through it at some point, but if yours is chronic, it’s doing nothing more than fuelling the rut you’re already in. If you think you’re in this category, take steps right away. Discard your pride, and talk to someone. Remember, that wherever there’s a down, there’s an up.
Think about your current lifestyle. Is there anything you’re addicted to? It’s probably one of the hardest things to admit, but if you’re constantly drinking, smoking or doing drugs, you need help ASAP. Even addictions to television or computer games are bad, and only end up consuming precious time that could be used to improve your life.
Addictions become vicious routines and are staunch allies of the rut. If you’d rather have another drink than spend some time enhancing your life, it’s time to put away that bottle for good. Do it today.
A change in lifestyle
It’s very difficult to be able to take an objective look at your life from an outsider’s perspective, but if you can identify areas of your life that have stagnated, you’ll be well on your way out of that rut you’re in.
Take a look in the mirror. Have you been wearing the same clothes and hairstyle for longer than you can remember? If so, breaking the bank on a new look is a good starting point. The better you feel on the outside, the better you’ll feel on the inside. A personal makeover will have those around you respond to you differently, and a string of compliments will go a long way to improving your self esteem.
Bad habits breed apathy. From smoking, to laziness to only ever eating take-outs, you need to break up the monotony and add some variation to your life. Focus on the habits that are contributing to that rut-feeling, and start working on breaking them.
Make a plan
Once you’ve identified the elements of your life that are contributing to the rut you’re in, it’s time to take action. If you hate every minute of your job, resign and start something new. If your relationship is driving you to the brink of insanity, call it off.
It’s time to start on a fresh slate. End those habits, and break those routines. Whether you move to another city, or buy a new house, a change in any form is needed to get you out of your rut. If necessary, write down what you would like to see changed, and take active steps toward making it happen.
Just do it
Once you’ve identified what needs to change, it’s easier to say you’re going to take action than actually doing so. The trick is to take things one step at a time. Packing up your house and moving 1000km away isn’t going to happen tomorrow, but quitting smoking, or getting back into the gym can. Focus on improving your health with a better diet and regular exercise. Soon you’ll be feeling a lot better about yourself, and others will notice the change too.
Start waking up earlier, or change the route you go to work. Change what you have for lunch at the office every day, and start doing different things on the weekends. These small changes in lifestyle can eventually culminate into more drastic action, like getting a new job, or buying a new house.
Don’t set your expectations too high, as you’ll just be setting yourself up for a harder fall. Instead, start small, and work your way up. Take it a step at a time, making sure to set realistic goals and then reaching them.
Remember that no one can get you out of this rut but yourself, and it’s up to you to take that first step. Why not start today?
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