Being a goal-oriented bloke, you do everything fast. Driving, working out, shopping and lovemaking. The latter however, benefits from a little restraint. Here’s how.
There’s a timeworn joke about men who walk into a shop, go straight to what they want, buy it and leave. Women are reputed to have perfected the art of dawdling – they call it shopping. They can spend hours finding the perfect broccoli.
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This is of course a vast generalization, and there’s nothing wrong with doing things quickly. But when it comes to making the beast with two backs, you need to exercise a little restraint.
The movies tell you that you need to buck like a caffeinated bronco to be a good lover. Not so. You heighten sexual tension, anticipation and pleasure by holding back a bit, teasing a bit and lowering the pace.
Don’t roll over
Women dread the kind of bloke who neglects foreplay, satisfies himself, then rolls over and goes to sleep. You might have a one-off orgasm tonight, but don’t expect to find her waiting at the door in something diaphanous tomorrow night.
Channel your eagerness. Learn the art of foreplay. Bring your partner close to orgasm and – if she’s willing – backtrack a bit and start the process again. When she eventually does climax it’ll measure on the Richter Scale.
If you’ve had a history of wham-bam, good-night-ma’m sex, your partner may take a little coaxing. Persevere. It’ll pay off.
One more thing: most women love receiving oral sex as long as it’s done properly. You need to press far less hard with your tongue than you’d imagine. Start with broad, upward strokes of your tongue. Some men write the alphabet on the clitoral shaft with the tip of the tongue. If this works for you, fine. Just be gentle, like a butterfly on a blossom. And when she says “don’t stop,” don’t.
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