Okay, we can see you let things slide a bit. While every crib needs a lived-in look, the rule of thumb is that you ought to at least be able to see the floor. But don’t fret – help is at hand.
If you’re a first-year student, having an untidy room is mandatory. But if you’ve reached your 22nd year and still need tetanus shots to be safe at home, we have a problem. It’s this: word gets around that you’re a slob: even if your Aunt Mabel loves you dearly despite your domestic habits, we assume you’re not planning to date her.
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Enter Kate
So now you have a date with Kate, Gary’s nubile cousin. You were planning to meet her at the corner café, but now she’s meeting you at your bachelor flat before you both go out to a movie.
This will be promising in about three hours, because it may mean coming back here after the movie. Right now, it means you’re hyperventilating because your place is a tip.
So be systematic: get a brown paper bag and breathe into it until your breathing returns to normal.
Clean up step-by-step: Size up the problem. Grab a roll of black rubbish bags and some sticky notes. Stand in the doorway of each room and jot down what needs doing and what needs ditching in each room. Leave the bag and note and move on. This will help streamline your operation and reduce panic.
Separate clutter and rubbish. By the one magazine’s definition, a full tin of beer is clutter, an empty one is rubbish. Fine, but be ruthless. Any copy of a magazine you haven’t read in three weeks goes in the rubbish bag. It’s not literature. At the same time, this is not the time to sort your CD collection into alphabetical order. It’s time to clean up, but not autoclave your belongings. Don’t stop to read.
Maintain a steady pace. If you have an oven timer, its hour has come. If your microwave oven goes “Ding!” every five minutes, nuke a cup of water and leave it in there to ding away. Set yourself goals: “I bet I can get all the books packed away by the next time the buzzer goes.” Okay, it’s not exactly a thrilling pastime, but who created this mess?
Dish the dirt on the dishes. If you have a dishwasher, load it. If not, get the dirty stuff into the sink. But if you’ve really let things slide and you have a mountain of greasy crockery, put it all in the bath and run scalding hot water and dish soap. Continue cleaning the rest of your place, letting your dirty dishes soak. Then rinse them off with a hand-held showerhead. You can pack the whole lot into a laundry basket and stack it somewhere out of sight, or dry and pack away just what you’ll need to make Kate breakfast (Hey, there’s always hope).
Clear the surfaces. If you want your place to look neat, countertops and tabletops need to be uncluttered. Your prize juicer can stay, but the packets of condiments from McDonald's can go in the fridge, thank you.
Find an impromptu cupboard. If there’s no time to wash all your dirty clothes, just leave everything in the washing machine. If you don’t have one, putting all the stuff in a couple of layers of garbage bag will be a consolation prize.
Mind those smells. If you’ve been a complete slob, your pad may smell vile. Household cleaner will help, but the whole place will smell strongly of bleach or ammonia. That’s not as bad as the smell of old socks and guys who can’t pee straight, but leaving the windows open for a while will help.
Cheat with scent. If you have time, try this. Splash water on some bread or buns and pop them in a warm oven for a bit. Then brew some coffee. The aroma of fresh coffee and bread will help mask the disinfectant as it masks the old socks.
Check that loo. We mentioned the missing-the-toilet thing, but check out your toilet and if there’s evidence of last week’s vindaloo around the bowl, grit your teeth and get stuck in with a toilet brush. Nothing is as off-putting as a guy who doesn’t seem to be properly potty-trained.
Do some window-dressing. Make the bed, borrow a clean towel for the bathroom if you can't find one, put a cloth over the dirty couch, make sure there is toilet paper in the bathroom, take out the trash, and spray some air freshener in the house if it still smells like a tip. - (William Smook, Health24)
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