12 April 2007

Some of life's real mysteries

There are things people do every day without thinking about them. Such as thinking they’re invisible in their cars and that it is safe to use public telephones.


There are things people do every day without thinking about them. Such as thinking they’re invisible in their cars and that it is safe to use public telephones.

Ever wondered about the following?

It's OK to let the dog lick you in the face. Heavens, where has that muzzle been? Have you ever watched what dogs do when they get to know each other? That cute snout does not get washed regularly. There are probably more germs there than on the average toilet seat.

Stompies are not regarded as rubbish. The painters who did the garden wall, meticulously picked up all of their builder’s rubble, but left 102 stompies on your lawn. Why does the person who would never dream of throwing a chips packet out the window, think nothing of discarding a still-burning cigarette butt?

People continue to smoke, despite cancer warnings. Would you eat food that said on the packet that the ingredients were likely to give you cancer? And yet, most people think that somehow the lung cancer and emphysema will bypass them.

People think no one can see through their car windows. This seems to be a widely-held perception. People pick their noses while sitting in traffic, and fight with their partners, and sometimes even park their cars in out-of-the-way places for a good smooch. Hallo, your car windows are transparent. Strangers can see through them. Would you do what you are doing on your front lawn in full view of the neighbours?

People go to the movies to eat. At the most significant point in the movie, the guy behind you rustles chocolate wrappers and his partner scrounges around at the bottom of the popcorn bucket for the last elusive kernel. Why is it necessary for people to eat in movies at all? If they were that hungry, shouldn’t they rather have gone out for supper? Am I missing something here?

Seen anyone washing public phones? This has puzzled me for a long time. People wash their hands meticulously after going to the toilet, but quite happily use public telephones without thinking twice. And for that matter, have you ever seen anyone washing supermarket trolleys? Let’s hope they get washed in the dead of night when no one is around. Maybe that is when the phone cleaner also strikes.

Lottery tickets are OK, gambling is not. Go figure this. Many people who will never be seen near a race track or a casino, will happily spend fortunes on lottery tickets. Surely your gambling habits are more visible if you queue up at the local corner café than when you go to the Tattersalls two miles away?

People have double hygiene standards in restaurants. Someone who at home would happily use the same knife and fork as someone else, or drink out of the same cup, will have a complete meltdown in a restaurant if the tabletop is not shining like a sixpense.

People don’t hear their own dogs. The neighbour’s dog has been yapping at the moon for 3 and a half hours, yet they seem to be sleeping through it all peacefully. The same cannot be said for the 27 people around them who are lying awake, while thinking murderous thoughts. Do they have selective hearing, or what is the story here?

Jostling for parking at the gym. Surely, the object of going to the gym is to get some exercise. Wouldn’t an extra 100 m of walking contribute to this overall aim? Why do people drive around and around trying to get the closest parking space?

People smack their toddlers to get them quiet. Doesn't smacking a toddler have exactly the opposite effect than what the parent is hoping for? If the child was yelling before the smack, you should hear them afterwards. The threat “Mommy’s going to smack you” clearly holds no threat at all.

(Susan Erasmus, Health24)


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