Publications
Partners
Shutterstock
Relationships are complicated things. Ever got the feeling that a lover's explanation you were listening to was missing some details?
We've cracked the lover's code.
THE LIE THE TRUTH
| We are just friends | Try as I might, this person just won't get into bed with me - yet |
| I worry about your health | If you think I am going to push you around in a wheelchair when you've got emphysema, you've got another think coming |
| I have never faked an orgasm | If you believe that, you'll believe anything |
| I like you as a friend | One step closer and I'll punch you on the nose |
| I want you to be successful | Can you seriously see me living as a pauper until my inheritance comes through? |
| Of course you aren't fat | Pick up two more kgs and I'll hit the road |
| I'm not ready for a relationship | Not with you anyway, not now or ever |
| I have only had sex with one other person | I am not counting colleagues or one-night-stands |
| What's mine is yours | Touch my hi-fi or video recorder and you're dead. What's more, you don't even know about my shares |
| I'll love you forever | You are actually the third person I've said this to, but you know how these things go |
| I have to go out of town on business | The tall, dark and handsome guy from accounts is coming too. |
| I can't make it tonight - I have family commitments | An old girlfriend/boyfriend is in town and I am having dinner at the hotel |
| I need space | I have met someone else |
| I love you when you wash the dishes | This one is true - I will also tell you how much I love you when you fetch the kids, even though it is my turn. |
| Of course I care about your parents | I just don't like to spend time with them |
| I'm not good enough for you - you deserve someone better | Actually I deserve someone better |
| It's not a problem at all, I understand | If you ever make me wait half an hour in the boiling sun for you again, I'll give you up for medical experiments |
| That outfit looks lovely | You look like Goofy, but we are already half an hour late |
| Of course I want to go shopping with you | What's in it for me? |
| I'm working late, but remember I'm doing it for us | I was the first one to manage to get a date with the new marketing manager |
| I'm not going to ask you again to pick up your underwear from the bathroom floor | I'll probably have to ask you another twelve thousand times |
| My cellphone was switched off last night, because I went to bed early | I was not alone |
| Of course he/she is not as attractive as you are | I can feel my nose growing longer |
| I love you just the way you are | What choice do I have anyway? |
| Sorry I didn't wait up for you | I sat in the dark in the sitting room and quickly ran to bed when I heard your car stopping |
(Susan Erasmus, Health24, updated June 2011)
Photo: Lovers from Shutterstock
