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10 December 2003

Dad-to-be: 16 weeks

Corny jokes, free booze and back rubs.

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What’s going on:
Having spent a couple of months looking like a badly formed eggplant, the baby now resembles a baby. It’s about the size of a hand and has all the bits that count.

How you feel:
The word is out by now that you’re breeding. Your friends and colleagues are likely to buy you drinks and be congratulatory, and will be making the obligatory jokes about how little sleep you’ll be getting once the baby arrives. Although most of these jokes are funny for the first 300 times they’re told, humour the people that tell them.

Many people simply don’t know how to react to the news. Others are bitter about not having had the opportunity to have kids of their own. Take it in your stride and accept the martinis graciously.

How she feels:
As always, how she feels is likely to be governed at least in part by how she looks. She’s starting to look very pregnant now. Her nipples are turning dark. At this stage, some look completely radiant, while others simply appear bulky, sweaty and harried.

Consider that she’s bigger and heavier than ever before, that she has nearly 50% more blood pounding around her body than before. She’ll need to keep an eye on her blood pressure – some women suffer of preeclampsia, dangerously, even life-threatening blood pressure levels.

What to do:
Fork out some money on creams that reduce stretch marks. Rub these fragrant preparations into all the areas that could be affected. Combine these interludes with long, warm baths. Rest assured that all this pampering will earn you points.

 
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