Men with high levels of narcissism - an unrealistically positive self-image
coupled with feelings of entitlement - have an easier time than others
attracting a potential mate, new German research says.
"Narcissism is linked to mate appeal in a real-life situation," said Michael
Dufner, a researcher at Humboldt University of Berlin, who led the study.
Dufner and his team first measured narcissism levels in 61 men with an
average age of 25, who were invited to join a courtship study in Germany. "We
focused on narcissism as a personality trait, not the personality disorder," he
said. "This means that everybody has a certain narcissism level - for some it is
higher, for others lower."
Next, the researchers asked the men to approach women they did not know on
the street and get contact information. It could be a phone number, e-mail or
How the research was done
Research assistants followed the men (which the men were aware of), observing
the interactions. Dufner decided to focus on men in this study because men
traditionally court a potential mate in this way, compared to women's typically
more subtle approaches, such as flirting, he said.
"We tested if individuals with higher narcissism scores are more appealing,"
On average, the men approached about 23 women. To rule out the possibility
that the more narcissistic men were more selective in who they approached, the
researchers analysed each woman who was approached on her physical
attractiveness and manner of dress. The narcissists weren't more selective.
The narcissistic guys did get the girl more often. The higher the level of
narcissism, the more likely they were to get more contacts.
"The effect was not due to high self-esteem, but indeed the narcissism,"
Dufner said. The physical attractiveness and social boldness of the narcissists
were the two likely reasons for their appeal to women, he said.
What appeals to women
Dufner offered some caveats about the research, though. "We were not able to
directly test the causality underlying the association between narcissism and
physical attractiveness," he said.
One possibility, he said, is that physical attractiveness may be a partial
cause of narcissism, as other researchers have suggested.
For narcissists - and the women they seek - the news is not all good, Dufner
said. "Narcissists are charming and appealing at first sight, but they are not
long-term romantic partners," he said.
The study findings confirm what many experts have long suspected, said Jean
Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University who has written
about narcissism. "Narcissists are very good at initiating relationships," she
said. "On first impression, they come across as confident and charming. The
problems arise later on, when you realise that he doesn't actually care about
you - it's all about him."
Twenge was not involved in the study, but reviewed the findings.
Caution is the byword for those attracted to narcissists, both experts
agreed. "In the long run, narcissists made bad relationship partners," Twenge
said. "They lack empathy and have a difficult time taking someone else's
Twenge said she does understand why women fall for narcissists. "The initial
appeal of narcissists comes from their assertiveness and confidence," she said.
"These are stereotypically masculine traits that many women find appealing."
To learn more about narcissism, visit the American