30 August 2006

Things never to say at work

Every office has one. A person with the kind of tact that would put a buffalo in mating season to shame. What are the things no one should ever say?

Every office has one. A person with the kind of tact that would put a buffalo in mating season to shame. And what's more, this person should have an honorary degree in rushing in where the proverbial angels fear to tread.

So what sort of thing should no one ever say to anyone at work?

  • When you dress in the mornings, are you feeling serious?
  • Tell me, don’t you ever get bored doing the same job year in and year out?
  • You must be the only one who can remember the Christmas party of 1973.
  • Why, my six-year-old can do this on the computer.
  • Did you dress in the dark this morning?
  • You’ll never guess what Andy in accounts told me about you.
  • The cleaning lady told me about your husband and his secretary. I am really sorry that this has happened to you.
  • My niece had this job until December, but was unfairly dismissed.
  • Good heavens, when was that staff picture taken? Is that really you?
  • I like the dress, but when last did you read the staff dress code?
  • Mr Andersen, your wife called and I said you had gone to lunch with a rep called Allison and I did not know when you would be back.
  • Goodness, I wonder how many people applied for the position when you got the job.
  • Why are you so smartly dressed? Going somewhere after work?
  • So what the hell are you going to do about a partner for the end-of-year do?
  • You people who don’t have children just don’t understand.
  • Your work is so much better than Janet’s. I really don’t know what to do about her.
  • I am sure they are having an affair. Don’t you think someone should let her husband know?
  • It took you how long to do this?
  • I can see you didn’t get much sleep last night.

(Susan Erasmus Health24)


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