John Pilkington's boss wouldn't take no for an answer. During more than two years as a food runner at an upscale steakhouse in Scottsdale, Arizona, Pilkington says his male supervisor groped, fondled and otherwise sexually harassed him more than a dozen times.
"It was very embarrassing," Pilkington said. "I felt like I had to do something because the situation was just so bad."
Now Pilkington, a married father of two, is the star witness in a US federal lawsuit against Fleming's Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar, and one of a growing number of men claiming they are victims of sexual harassment in the workplace.
From 1990 to 2009, the percentage of sexual harassment claims filed by men has doubled from 8% to 16%, according to the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
Lawyers at the commission say they've noticed the increase in complaints by men - more than 2,000 were filed in 2009 out of about 12,700 cases.
"It's certainly possible that there's more sexual harassment of men going on, but it could just be that more men are coming forward and complaining about it," said Ernest Haffner, an attorney in the commission's Office of Legal Counsel.
Mostly men harass other men
While some cases allege harassment by female supervisors or co-workers, most charges involve men harassing other men. Sometimes it's unwelcome romantic advances. Other times, men are picked on because they are gay, perceived as being gay or not considered masculine enough for the work setting.
In the past, some employers might have shrugged off such antics as "boys will be boys" horseplay or fraternity-type behaviour. But the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has been filing more lawsuits involving male victims, saying it wants to send a message that such behaviuor is unacceptable and unlawful.
Sexual assault in the workplace
In November, for example, the Cheesecake Factory restaurant chain agreed to pay $345,000 (R2.6 million) to six male employees who claimed they were repeatedly sexually assaulted by a group of male kitchen staffers at a Phoenix-area restaurant.
The commission said the abusers would drag some victims kicking and screaming into a walk-in refrigerator, touching and grinding against the victims' genitals and take turns simulating rape. The company denied the allegations but agreed to make a financial settlement and educate its employees and managers about sexual harassment.
Sexualised form of hazing
Susan Strauss, a consultant who advises companies about how to avoid sexual harassment in the workplace, said she's seeing more cases in which men are subject to a sexualised form of hazing.
"If you don't fit the masculine stereotype or are viewed as effeminate, you get picked on in a sexual way to demean you," Strauss said.
Cases involving women making unwanted advances toward men may also be rising as women make up a growing part of the work force.
Last year, the Regal Entertainment Group, which operates a national chain of movie theatres, agreed to pay $175,000 (R1.3 million) to settle a lawsuit by a male employee who claimed a female co-worker repeatedly grabbed his crotch at work.
When the employee complained to his supervisor and the theatre's then-general manager, he claims, she failed to stop the harassment and instead retaliated with unfair discipline and lower performance evaluations.
Same-sex harassment a valid claim
The number of cases filed by men has grown steadily since a landmark Supreme Court ruling in 1998 held that same-sex harassment is a valid claim under federal anti-discrimination laws. That ruling involved an offshore oil rig worker who said he was subject to humiliating sex-related treatment by other workers, including being sodomised in the shower with a bar of soap.
In Pilkington's case, he claims the restaurant's chef would grope and pinch his genitals or grab his backside when Pilkington walked to the kitchen or stock room. Despite his complaints to the restaurant's operating partner, he says the conduct didn't stop.
After one incident, Pilkington lost his composure and yelled at the chef. Days later, he was fired - an action he claims was retaliation for his complaints. An Equal Employment Opportunity Commission lawsuit on behalf of Pilkington and three other current and former employees is pending.
Hard for males to file complaint
"I think maybe it's just harder for males to come out and file a complaint because of how embarrassing it is," Pilkington said.
"When I talk about it I get this nauseous feeling in my stomach." The restaurant has denied the charges. In a statement, the company that owns Fleming's said the restaurant "has always been committed to providing a safe and healthy workplace free of harassment for all of its associates."
Many victims are hesitant to come forward because they are afraid of being considered unmanly or being derided by co-workers, said Mary Jo O'Neill, a regional attorney in the EEOC's Phoenix District office.
"All sexual harassment victims feel humiliated, lacking control and power," O'Neill said. "This has a different twist because everyone expects that they would be able to handle it and take care of it themselves." - (SAM HANANEL/Sapa/AP, March 2010)