Updated 25 September 2014

Fat like me? Confessions of a dieter

Health24's Brandon Faber has made it through his first six weeks of CrossFit training and lets us in on a few secrets.


He's six weeks in and one chin down. This is what Brandon's progress looks like:

Fat Like Me? “Give me a kilt and lend me your ears”

Nation, after last week’s admission of dietary failures whas hilst in Cape Town I have to reveal more dark secrets to you today – a day that will go down in infamy, marking a moment in time when fear of freedom robbed the sons and daughters of Scotland of their chance, “their one chance”, to walk in kilt-covered-glory towards a brave new dawn.


Aren’t you just a wee bit sad for the Scots? Eh? Anyway, I digress.

Yes brothers and sisters, today I stand before you yet again, ready to reveal some truths that will surely rattle the very fibre of your being and force you to question the world in which you believe. . .  

Or not.

Brandon one-sixteen

In reality I was 122kgs when we started writing this column. As the first article was published a week and a bit later than intended I had a bit of a head start – meaning that now, roughly 6 weeks later, I am on 116kgs which makes me a little lighter than Bakkies Botha.

I bet that keeps him awake at night.

At 116 Eben Etzebeth is more in my weight class which gives me some kind of comfort walking the streets of Gauteng.

I should have a t-shirt made with “I weigh as much as Eben” printed on the back and then go walking through the calm, welcoming streets of Hilbrow (or Hatfield) on a Friday night – I bet I will emerge unscathed . . .

Livin’ la Vida Loca

Part two of my “earth-shattering” news is that I will no longer be able to train at the CrossFit 360Vida Studio in Fourways . . . allow that to percolate a little.

Read: What happens at CrossFit?

Yes gentle readers, henceforth I shall need to train closer to my house. This particular studio is some way off the daily track I beat with such belligerence, rendering the journey there impractical to sustain.

More about the change of tact next week but please do allow me this opportunity to thank the committed souls at CrossFit 360Vida. That’s results-driven training at its best and for those who have the stomach (literally and figuratively) you will find camaraderie, intensity and calorie-obliterating-methodologies of the highest calibre here.

Diane, Will and Phill – I doff my sweaty cap to you.

Six of the Best

Over the last six weeks I’ve crawled like Spiderman, hung from a rope, done handstands against a wall, run further and faster than I have in years. I’ve done more squats than a Cape Town “poo” protester, excreted more sweat than Oscar Pistorius and have shown remarkable improvements in health – just like Schabir Shaik.

I’ve discovered abilities that were buried under bad habits and couch-inflicted apathy. I’ve embraced a new, better, way of living that has not only seen me lose 6kgs on the scale but, also, bring more energy and positivity to my world.

With 10 weeks and 16 stubborn kilograms to go, I look forward to the sharing the coming challenges with you.

With 10 weeks and 16 stubborn kilograms to go, my hope is that this story will not end with a fear of freedom, but with a triumphant walk (in kilt-covered glory if I have to) towards a brave new dawn.

Get in touch: Email Brandon

Read all of Brandon's columns:  
120kg and CrossFitting
Fat like me? Brandon fights the pain
Fat like me? Brandon keeps going Fat like me? 120kg going down
Fat like me? The journey continues


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