It’s not a clothes horse. You can’t fit it under the bed. Welcome to the best home gym ever developed.
Home exercise equipment is one of those ideas whose time never really comes. Not because you can’t work out at home (you can), but because very few of us have what it takes to get into workout mode unless we’re in a workout environment. So the stationary bike in the bedroom becomes something you throw your clothes or towel over when you shower. The treadmill in the TV room becomes a race track for toy cars. The Pilates ball slowly deflates behind the sofa, and all that stuff under the bed just collects dust bunnies.
At the risk of mixing my philosophies, feng shui insists anyway that exercise equipment in the bedroom is bad karma: it exudes bad energy. I couldn’t agree more. And clutter under the bed traps energies.
So welcome to the device that’s going to change your life forever: the Technogym Kinesis machine.
Yes it sounds scary, but it’s styled to look like upmarket furniture, and it’s beautiful: like a big deep wall-mounted mirror with a few architectural attachments (that’s the Vision version: there’s also a Heritage version, which I like less, which is backed by horizontal bars instead of mirrors). The design is genius in its simplicity, clearly the product of an enormous amount of knowledge and research. And all you need is one clear square metre in front of the Kinesis to get all the benefit.
Hidden in its relatively shallow depth is a complex arrangements of silent resistance devices; tension is set by means of a dial, and there is virtually nothing you can’t achieve by employing the few spare angles and arms at your disposal. Endurance, balance, strength and flexibility all get a workout – the makers claim more than 200 exercises are possible. The handgrips are ergonomically designed, and there’s no clanking or whizzing as you’re working out. Judicious use of magnets means nothing swings around when it’s not in use.
It’s a real workout: I was taken through the Kinesis’s paces at the gym at ONEwellness spa at the Radisson. At the time I was in pretty good shape after several months at Adventure Boot Camp. The personal trainer at ONEwellness saw this as a challenge, though he was too polite to say so (they’re very well trained, those personal trainers). But the result was that he ratcheted up the resistance until I had to plead for mercy. I pleaded long before we got anywhere maximum resistance, so I know this is technology that would meet the needs of the grunt-brigade as well as it did mine.
The next day, here’s where the (satisfying) stiffness lay: glutes and thighs, stomach and biceps. Love that feeling.
I thought I might buy one. For my husband, of course. For Christmas. I checked out the price. Sadly, it’s not going to happen. But if you love someone very, very much, and you’ve got deep pockets, then this is a life-changer.
* Test it at ONEwellness spa’s gym: open daily 06h00 to 22h00. Call (021) 441-3331 / 2 / 3; for appointments, or email firstname.lastname@example.org; more info: ONEwellness.
* Check out the mirrored beauty on the Technogym site: : ONEwellness.
(Heather Parker, Health24, August 2008)