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Question
Posted by: sad | 2012/07/06

wrong decision?

I moved in with my boyfriend who has been living on his own for 6 years and I have been on my own for 10 years. I used to have a routine every weekday, eat by 7 bed by 9.30. Now everything is messed up. He is a procrastinator and if we eat by 9, Im lucky. I will make my side of the meal i.e. salad, veg, etc but if we have a braai, he does the meat. I cant push him to do things coz them we have a massive row. So now I just remain silent and eventually he realises we need to eat. I cant live like this. I am grumpy. Im tired. Im living on tranquilisors. I need a routine. I think I made the wrong decision :(

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

People who live alone form a large set of habits and expectations, and probably have more difficulty in adjusting when they start to live with someone else. There has to be communication, negotiation and compromise. Neither of you are "right" or "wrong", just different. Often, rather than giving in to one or other routine, one negotiates a shared schedule that's a bit of both, gives each of you what's most important to you, and maybe sets many new routines somewhere between the two, suh as eating a bit later than your habit, and a bit earlier than his.
Maybe it wasn't wise to decide to live together, but that's a partly different question. Tranquillizers will absolutely not help, and may make things worse.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/06

People who live alone form a large set of habits and expectations, and probably have more difficulty in adjusting when they start to live with someone else. There has to be communication, negotiation and compromise. Neither of you are "right" or "wrong", just different. Often, rather than giving in to one or other routine, one negotiates a shared schedule that's a bit of both, gives each of you what's most important to you, and maybe sets many new routines somewhere between the two, suh as eating a bit later than your habit, and a bit earlier than his.
Maybe it wasn't wise to decide to live together, but that's a partly different question. Tranquillizers will absolutely not help, and may make things worse.

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