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Question
Posted by: Melly | 2013-01-25

Would you have an issue?

Would you have an issue if your husband bought the mother of his 14 year old child gifts from the child for mothers day, birthday and xmas?? also if he buys the child a treat he will always buy the mother too, I always see the slips etc I obviously know about the gifts cause his been doing it for years but I still feel its unecessary. Im not talking extravagant gifts but i still feel this way...

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Our expert says:
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As I don't actually HAVE a husband, I wouldn't PERSONALLY have an issue. But the idea of a married man buying gifts for his ex on three ocasions in the year sounds rather inappropriate and excessive, and suggests guilt and him not having properly gotten over that previous relationship. Its certainly not necessary.
Is he sopmeone who generaously buys gifts for all other sorts of people too, his secretary, whoever ? Or is it solely for her ?
It sounds particularly innocent if he is buying modest gifts for her in the name of his children, so they can gift her.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gent | 2013-01-29

I am a married Guy who has always sent gifts from both my spouse and I !! My Ex and I have an extremely good relationship -purely built by ourselves through hard work and determination. Why you may ask...because it rubbed off on our kids and today they are well adjusted adults who have no idea why divorced parents would ever hate each other. Their upbringing was never poisoned by one or the other trying to get an upper hand.
Everyone for their own......

Reply to Gent
Posted by: two.stone | 2013-01-28

Sorry guys - you are missing the point. The child has no income, so how does the child buy the Mother a gift? Maybe, the father should just give the child the money to buy the gift her/him self? My children all asked me for money to buy their Mother gifts (my ex) until they earned their own money and the situation stopped.

Reply to two.stone
Posted by: Hello Kiitty | 2013-01-25

I agree 100% with Maria:
Special days (on behalf of the child): Yes
Treats: NO WAYS!!!!!!

Reply to Hello Kiitty
Posted by: Anon | 2013-01-25

I think it is harmless. When we go to the shops my son would suddenly see something he wants to get his dad, then I allow him to buy it for his dad. Yes, I''m paying and cursing in silence, but it is my son who buys it for his dad not me.

The one and only time he went shopping with his dad he asked his dad to help him buy me an xmas gift, it was this past xmas. The dad actually sent me the receipt the day after for a refund! I think his girlfriend had something to do with that!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: kgee | 2013-01-25

hi Melly i understand sometimes u feel so bad,but if i were u i would talk to him abt this n i would understand if he was buying u as well and ur kinds its so bad because u can only see some slip spk to him before it is too late or things get worse

Reply to kgee
Posted by: Maria | 2013-01-25

I see no problem with a father helping a child to buy gifts for his mother on special days. The treats are a different story and is unnecessary, however one doesn''t want to be petty about it if he isn''t spending a lot of money.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Melly | 2013-01-25

yes he does do it for me to from our kids etc

and no his always complaining what a bad mother she is..

Reply to Melly
Posted by: Lea | 2013-01-25

My dad has supported my mom throughout although they''r divorced - as a goodwill gesture for rearing all us siblings.

Reply to Lea
Posted by: Anon | 2013-01-25

I guess it would depend on their relationship, maybe he''s trying to stay on her good side? I don''t think it''s necessary at all, but there are a lot of people who show their appreciation by buying gifts, maybe it''s his way of saying thank you for taking good care their child and not making things difficult.

Personally, if it''s always small and generic, I wouldn''t mind all that much, assuming he also buys your treats and gifts!

Reply to Anon

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