Our expert says:
You are not a bad mother, but a caring one, who at times doesn'y quite know how best to care. To find life challenging, puzzling, depressing, does indeed happen when one is trying to handle a chronically difficult situation like yours.
Its not inevitable that your child would be either neglected by your family, nor mistreated in a home. Maybe it'd be worth visiting as many as possible of the available homes, to assess them yourself rather than just assuming the worst.
How severely disabled your child is, is relevant, as you imply, in terms of how aware she is ( or is not ) of her surroundings.
State facilities for such problems are deplorable, as is the attitude of Medical Aids, I agree.
Try to find a source of counselling, not to talk you out of your despair in any artificial way, but to help you fel stronger in yourself, and to realistically explore ALL options. You are not a bad mother for considering an option that may sound terrible but can at times seem realistic. But don't assume it is inevitable without a full and assisted exploration.
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