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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/07/20

Worried about money in our marriage


We have lived together for 6 months now and things are not right for us in the house we are staying with a stepdaughter and what I have noticed is that the father is fond of the daughter since we have lived together I am not given anything but I am telling you the daughter is first and I am last.

Yesterday I had to wash my hair and go to the salon but I did not have even a sent so I decided to call my sister and ask her for money she said she will give me on Monday. I am working but I cannot afford to do anything because I have to buy food and other staff for the baby so I cannot do things for myself. Late last night he gave the daughter money for salon and asked me when am I going to the salon I told him my sister will give me money I dont know when. He gave me R100 I dont know whether I am someone who is mad or what but I told him not to give me because he has so many things.

I am not a funny person but what makes me sick about this man is he does not give me money because he wants me its because he has given to the daughter, I asked him from when did he give me money he said he will give me everymonth for the hair I just left it there.

I dont know whether I am right or wrong I have decided that it is best that I dont take his money so that I dont give to him because everytime I ask he will say I should also give and he wants me to pay for his debts I am so sorry i am not there to be abused I have decided I have to do my own things and he has to do his.

The other thing is that I have asked him will he be able to afford to support 2 families as he has another child outside the child will only call at the end of the month and next month its her babies birthday I think he will provide for that birthday.

I have sat down and told myself this is wrong but I need second view from other people because maybe I am wrong myself.

We will be getting married soon what makes me worried again is whether to sign in c ommunity of property or out because of what I see happening.

Please assist

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Has anyone noticed how commonly this particular sort of problem seems to turn up here ? The father feeling guilty who spoils his daughter from a previous marriage ( somehow, usually not a son ) to the point of neglecting the woman he marries or plans to marry. Maybe pre-marriage counsellign would be wise in such situations, to work out in advance how the family should conduct itself to the best advantage of all. It is only min recent years that it has become common for a couple to marry with one or both having one or more children from other prior relationships. Simple marriage is complex enough, and such complexities add to the risks of later conflict

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/07/22

Subject: Worried about money in our marriage
Posted by: Anonymous | 20/7/2009


We have lived together for 6 months now and things are not right for us in the house we are staying with a stepdaughter and what I have noticed is that the father is fond of the daughter since we have lived together I am not given anything but I am telling you the daughter is first and I am last.

Yesterday I had to wash my hair and go to the salon but I did not have even a sent so I decided to call my sister and ask her for money she said she will give me on Monday. I am working but I cannot afford to do anything because I have to buy food and other staff for the baby so I cannot do things for myself. Late last night he gave the daughter money for salon and asked me when am I going to the salon I told him my sister will give me money I dont know when. He gave me R100 I dont know whether I am someone who is mad or what but I told him not to give me because he has so many things.

I am not a funny person but what makes me sick about this man is he does not give me money because he wants me its because he has given to the daughter, I asked him from when did he give me money he said he will give me everymonth for the hair I just left it there.

I dont know whether I am right or wrong I have decided that it is best that I dont take his money so that I dont give to him because everytime I ask he will say I should also give and he wants me to pay for his debts I am so sorry i am not there to be abused I have decided I have to do my own things and he has to do his.

The other thing is that I have asked him will he be able to afford to support 2 families as he has another child outside the child will only call at the end of the month and next month its her babies birthday I think he will provide for that birthday.

I have sat down and told myself this is wrong but I need secondview from other people because maybe I am wrong myself.

We will be getting married soon what makes me worried again is whether to sign in c ommunity of property or out because of what I see happening.

Please assist I am so worried I did not get any responces or am I being agreesive or wrong.

Reply to Anonymous

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