Our expert says:
I'll let some of the Wise Women and moms who are regulars on this forum, provide the main responses here, on the sort of issue where they're usually so helpful.
There's surely a power struggle at play here - children realize, at various ages, the huge power they can wield by saying NO.
When a child is, for a time, in such a negativist frame of mind, its usually easier to get her involved in school sports by strongly suggesting that she shopuld NOT tqake part. But do explore why - is she simply being stubborn, or has she, as many kids do, had some bad experiences in relation to sports being teased or bullied, for instance ?
Frankly, school sports are often worth very much less than they're puffed up to be. For every child who gets to enjoy healthy exercise, there's another child who gets to be teased, defeated and with damaged self-esteem.
Instead of focussing on arguing with her about why she doesn't want to do whatever you suggest, take an alternative approach. Ask HER to suggest which of the available alternatives SHE picks to take part in, as out-of hours activities. Its like the old example fo the kid who doesn't want to get dressed to go out - instead of arguing about whether she will get dressed ( where she wins by not getting dressed ), argue about whether she'll wear the red or the green dress, and whichever one she picks, she's dressed anyway.
You're far from the worst mom, so don't think so litle of yourself. Its so easy to get into fights aboutchoixes where it actually doesn't matter which choice is made.
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