advertisement
Question
Posted by: Broken heart | 2010/09/14

Worried

I recently broke off a 9yr relationship with the father of my son. I don''t have one solid reason why i broke it off, i think i was fed up and felt oppressed in the relationship. He is the only man i ever had sex with and i couldn''t forgive him for giving me the virus. I felt he was always controlling me and never let me live my dreams and be myself and in that I realised i didn''t love him at all anymore. I don''t know if that makes sense.
It''s been a month now since we broke up and i am kind of seeing someone. I really love this guy and i can''t get him out of my mind. I''m worried about 2 things 1) i''m worried that i don''t trust him and think he might hurt me like my ex did and is it not too soon to be moving on, 2)I''m HIV positive and i think that when i tell him that he won''t want to be involved with me. Please help

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Were you actually "opressed" or otherwise mistreated in the relationship ? It may be so, and it sounds as though you felt coerced into it, if it was with the first man you had sex with who also gave you the HIV virus, which was iresponsible of him. But you endured the relationshiop for 9 long years before deciding to end it. I wonder what ultimately made you decide to do so, after all that time.
Did he specifically refuse to allow or enable you to work towards your dreams ? Or was it that, pressed into an early relationshi with him, you felt, in that situation, unable to move towards your dreams ?
Be cautious about getting too deeply committed to a new relationship this soon after ending the other one. Rebound relationships often have serious problems. Take your time, there's no need to rush. In time, it'll get much clearer whether he deserves to be trusted. It'll also give you time to tell him about being HIV positive, which would be responsible to do.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/09/14

My opinion is  focus on yourself. Fulfil the dreams you had and am sure you still have. No one knows how your man will react to the news but him. This means you have no controll over his reaction. The fact that you have accepted your status means you are a brave and focused woman. The other people should not dertemine whether you sink or swim.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: Broken heart | 2010/09/14

I met him when i was 19 and i didn''t get to fulfill my dreams. The other thing was that he didn''t seem to want to commit to our relationship. Earlier in the relationship he used to beat me and later he would say hurtful and mean things to me. The thing is i couldn''t forget all that and decided that was not the kind of life i wanted to live. I couldn''t share my dreams with him coz he would either laugh or undermine them

Reply to Broken heart
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/14

Were you actually "opressed" or otherwise mistreated in the relationship ? It may be so, and it sounds as though you felt coerced into it, if it was with the first man you had sex with who also gave you the HIV virus, which was iresponsible of him. But you endured the relationshiop for 9 long years before deciding to end it. I wonder what ultimately made you decide to do so, after all that time.
Did he specifically refuse to allow or enable you to work towards your dreams ? Or was it that, pressed into an early relationshi with him, you felt, in that situation, unable to move towards your dreams ?
Be cautious about getting too deeply committed to a new relationship this soon after ending the other one. Rebound relationships often have serious problems. Take your time, there's no need to rush. In time, it'll get much clearer whether he deserves to be trusted. It'll also give you time to tell him about being HIV positive, which would be responsible to do.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement