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Question
Posted by: whatnow | 2010/08/02

workplace woes

I really am at my wit''s end with some collegues. I have always had a relaxed, easygoing relationship with everybody at work, and can be assertive if need be. However, I have had a distinct feeling of unease for the past weeks. One colleague in the group I am sitting in in the staff room, these days give me the I-want-to-talk-to-you look, then when I start chatting to her, she just keeps looking at me with big, bright, seemingly not unfriendly eyes, but does not reply. Now two other colleagues in the same group are beginning to do the same, and I am beginning to feel quite isolated and am beginning to withdraw as well. I am under a lot of stress and heart-ache in my personal life and this is beginning to freak me out, because I have not done anything wrong to any of them. The black clouds of depression are beginning to loom on the horizon and I have to do my utmost to fight it off. Everyone else in the staff room sitting further away are acting towards me as they always do, but the problem is everyone has been sitting in the exact same place for years, so I cannot move anywhere else without causing an intrigue!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you are bothered by their reactions when you start chatting - what is it yopu are chating about ? As Purple says, if you ten to mainly chat about the woes in your private life, they may very reasonably not want to continue hearing about it, especially if there's nothing particular they could do to help, and most especially if it doesnt seem as though you are doing anything about it, yourself, except grumble.
Try switching to talking much less, and rathwer asking them about whatever interests or concerns them. A good listener is always more popular than a good grumbler

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2010/08/03

What is it you are talking about to them?
If you are going on and on about how awful your life is, they might just be tired of hearing about it and so don''t respond in the hope that you''ll drop the subject as they have heard it all before and you haven''t done anything yourself to change the situation.

If you are sure you aren''t just being paranoid, perhaps you need to ask them if there is a problem or if you have done something to upset them.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/03

If you are bothered by their reactions when you start chatting - what is it yopu are chating about ? As Purple says, if you ten to mainly chat about the woes in your private life, they may very reasonably not want to continue hearing about it, especially if there's nothing particular they could do to help, and most especially if it doesnt seem as though you are doing anything about it, yourself, except grumble.
Try switching to talking much less, and rathwer asking them about whatever interests or concerns them. A good listener is always more popular than a good grumbler

Reply to cybershrink

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