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Question
Posted by: Cher | 2010/08/30

Work related stress

Hi there 

I would need your help please? I''''m 26 years old, married and we have a 3 year daughter.

I started working for my employer in December 2008 - and not one day goes by without me almost loosing my mind or having a nervous breakdown. I report to the boss''s wife, and needless to say she is unbelievable.

I get broken down on a daily basis, I wake up nervous, wondering what kind of mood she will be in, this is affecting my job as I make silly mistakes and get into heeps of trouble for it. I am overloaded with work, not getting to it, and I''m working basically 7 days a week. I work from 07h30 - 16h30 at my office, and then I manage an apartment complex where I also stay so I get knocks on my door, or telephone calls almost every night. I work most weekends too. I hardly ever get time to spend with my family and its effecting my marriage with my husband, and with my child. It breaks my heart!

I''ve discussed the work matter with the bosses, and the situation changed for a while, but then went back to normal shortly thereafter. I just can not work for this woman she is impossible. Another employee went to her husband (the other boss) to complain about her, but all that happened was that my collegue was screamed and shouted at by her, and she threated to write her a warning if she ever complains again.

I''ve tried to look for another job, but I live in a small town, and word travels fast, and my boss found out about it, and needless to say my working environment is very uncomfortable.

I''m always in a huge stressball, I''ve come to stage where I am worried that I will breakdown one of these days.

What do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageArchive

Hi Cher,

Your work sounds really stressful caused by the toxic situation and bosses. If they are being abusive you can lay claim but this should always be avoided and seen as a last resort as it will make your current stress seem mild in comparison as the process is terribly taxing.

My suggestion is that you tell them that you are not coping and are having a nervous breakdown. Even go to a Dr and get a letter perhaps.

When it comes to bosses they are usually stressing about the business not doing well enough and hand the stress over to the employees. If you ask lovingly how the business is doing that could really help change the behaviour.

Another thing to try when they are shouting at you or are abusive is to say this:

1. When you shout at me
2. I feel very nervous and feel like Im about to have a breakdown
3. ... because you have shouted at me allot in the past.
4. In future please speak nicely to me.
5. Would that be ok?

Please tell me how it goes:)

All the best,
Dr Justin Kennedy

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Dr Justin Kennedy | 2010/08/31

Hi Cher,

You work sounds really stressful caused by the toxic situation and bosses. If they are being abusive you lay claim but this should always be seen as a last resort as it will make your current stress seem mild in comparison as the process is terribly taxing.

My suggestion is that you tell them that you are not coping and are having a nervous breakdown. Even go to a Dr and get a letter perhaps.

When it comes to bosses they are usually stressing about the business not doing well enough and hand the stress over to the employees. If you ask lovingly them how the business is doing that could really help change the behaviour.

Another thing to try when they are shout at you or are abusive is to say this:

When you shout at me
I feel very nervous and feel like Im about to have a breakdown
because you have shouted at me allot in the past.
In future please speak nicely to me.
Would that be ok?

Please tell me how it goes:)

All the best,
Dr Justin Kennedy

Reply to Dr Justin Kennedy
Posted by: Stress Reduction Expert | 2010/08/31

Hi Cher,

Your work sounds really stressful caused by the toxic situation and bosses. If they are being abusive you can lay claim but this should always be avoided and seen as a last resort as it will make your current stress seem mild in comparison as the process is terribly taxing.

My suggestion is that you tell them that you are not coping and are having a nervous breakdown. Even go to a Dr and get a letter perhaps.

When it comes to bosses they are usually stressing about the business not doing well enough and hand the stress over to the employees. If you ask lovingly how the business is doing that could really help change the behaviour.

Another thing to try when they are shouting at you or are abusive is to say this:

1. When you shout at me
2. I feel very nervous and feel like Im about to have a breakdown
3. ... because you have shouted at me allot in the past.
4. In future please speak nicely to me.
5. Would that be ok?

Please tell me how it goes:)

All the best,
Dr Justin Kennedy

Reply to Stress Reduction Expert

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