Posted by: Confused | 2009-09-08


I was at my boss'  house on Friday. There were a few people but I knew them from work. My boss was drinking alot and later on when everyone left he asked to speak to me. So we talked. I got engaged about 2months ago and he told me I' m his best worker etc. and that he is scared I will leave. Which I was planning on doing because there is no growth potential for me here. We are a winery that gets its marketing done by a different company. And I originally took the position to learn more about wine and then hopefully, get into marketing. But no such luck. In any case, so while he tells me Im a good worker, he also tells me that my weight bothers him, as I don' t dress well for work because of my weight. I am currently wearing a jean, black shoes, a white collor shirt and a black jersey. He said I must go and talk to him about my plans. My fiance lives 100km from where I live. I had to move due to this job. I am looking into moving to CT because for my fiance it doesnt help him moving here because he works in the metal industry and here is mostly farms. Also he needs 1more year to qualify and why quit the company that send him for all his training. So now I am confused and mad and dissapointed because he (my boss) only gives me recognition when he is drunk and becuase he insulted me. Should I talk to him about my plans, or do you feel I can just quit when I get a new job? Because thats how I feel. I was looking for a different job since the beginning of the year anyway.

Forgot to mention, the next day, he was completely friendly and didn' t know why I was mad at him. And that makes me even more angry, because why is he aloud to forget about insulting me just because he was drunk???

Please give advise.

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Our expert says:
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Sounds rather insulting for the boss to be rude about your appearance and weight, especially as it's hardly likely to be relevant to your job performance. Your job is not to look pretty for him. Many people say things when they're drunk which they don't remember when sober --- why not have a calm chat with him, reminding him of what he said, of how hurt you were by his remarks about your weight, and about how you would like to be ablem to tay with the company, but that you wory there is no real gorwth potential for you there.

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