Posted by: Crossroads | 2008-11-11

Wont let it go..

My ex is on my case - we were dating for 3 years and now both of us have moved on..i decided to be on my own..cant commit myself to a new relationship yet knowing im not over him - but he has a new woman in his life. He insists on seeing me..comes knocking on my door at any hour of the day and wants to be with me also. I' ve told him im not willing to share - well, obviously!..but he says he cannot live without me, he wants to, but cant. I dont know if he' s mentally ill or something but he insists that at least other people can make the choice to let it go, he inturn, cannot. I' m upset because he knows i still have feelings for him and is trying to take advantage of that. I told him to just leave me alone to figure out what it is he wants but i cannot allow him in my life anymore. It disgusts me to know that he' s still seeing her (and denies it, although i know it for a fact), but still wants to see me. I know the obvious thing to do is to leave and cut all contact but i still love him and as long as it seems like he needs me I have such difficulty pushing him away.

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Our expert says:
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Tell him to stop bothering you and to allow you to get on with your own life --- and to see a counsellor to deal with his own problems if he still has any. He CAN let go, he just is refusing to do so. And if he is still seeing the other woman, he;'s trying to have his bread buttered on both sides. Its not that he actually NWEEDS you, but that he has now decided that he WANTS you. There's a difference.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Steff | 2008-11-11

I Had the same situation 2 years ago. My ex kept on harassing me at clubs, at friends'  gatherings, etc... i decided to take hom back, and he promised to sort out his mistakes (which was the reason for the break up). Its been 2 and a half years, and we broke up a month ago, because of the same problems. Point is, if he' s still seeing that other woman, he' s going to keep on seeing her. You both are going to realise that the problem that broke you up in the first place, is going to mean the end for you again. I know it' s hard, I' m also going through a break up, but keep your chin high, avoid him, and move on to someone better and who will make you so much happier!

Reply to Steff
Posted by: Decision | 2008-11-11

You know the answer to your question you mentioned it a few times in your post. You need to move on. Love can hurt at times and we all want to love somebody,, but if its going to be destructive to your well being then best to let go of that kind of love.

Its not easy but do what you have to do and take care of the no1 person in your life = yourself.

Reply to Decision

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