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Question
Posted by: Meghan | 2011/03/13

wont commit to me and his son

My boyfriend of over 2 years (known him for 5) whom we have a 1 year old child wont commit to me. He stays at my house every night but basically he still lives with his mother (all his stuff is there). He doesnt give me money for maintenance - he occassionaly buys nappies and formula. He eats at my place on the weekends.... when i asked him about commiting, getting married etc, he said that he wants to be able to financially support me first ...........ok so im not complaining about that but hey he works, hes bringing in an income - so its not like hes flat broke so for me i see that as a poor reply. What can i say to him? i want some form of committment from him ... otherwise whats the point? (He is 50 years old).

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He is required by law to pay maintenance for the children he fathers. Go to the Maintenance Court at your nearest Magistrate' Court and they should be able to help you tget a hearing. The court should assess what each of you earn and what is needed, and will decide how much he must pay - and if he doesnt't he is in contempt of court and could go to jail, or at least I think they can get a garnishee order to have his employer deduct what he must pay from his salary before the rest is paid to him.
How on earth does he spend his income ? He stays with his mom and eats with you, and pays nothing for his child. How selfish ! If you allow him to continue to get away with this, he will

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Mzulu | 2011/03/14

If he is 50 and you are...?what has he been doing all this timen and the fact that he still doesn''t have a place of his own at 50..? I''d think 10 times about wanting commitment from such a person but anyway best of luck....yoh!

Reply to Mzulu
Posted by: Truth | 2011/03/13

He has an income take him to court for maintenance.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/13

He is required by law to pay maintenance for the children he fathers. Go to the Maintenance Court at your nearest Magistrate' Court and they should be able to help you tget a hearing. The court should assess what each of you earn and what is needed, and will decide how much he must pay - and if he doesnt't he is in contempt of court and could go to jail, or at least I think they can get a garnishee order to have his employer deduct what he must pay from his salary before the rest is paid to him.
How on earth does he spend his income ? He stays with his mom and eats with you, and pays nothing for his child. How selfish ! If you allow him to continue to get away with this, he will

Reply to cybershrink

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