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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/01

Women Liking Married Men?

Please can some women explain why they are attracted to married men more than single guys.

A lady in the department I work in never laid eyes on me before. She is quite attractive and yes, I did eye her once or twice but never really sat and had a one on one conversation with her.

About two months ago I got married. She knows that as she helped contribute to a wedding gift from the department.

A week ago, I meet her in the kitchen and she asks me hows married life. I said okay and kept the conversation to a brief. She then asks me to join her at the bar after work tomorrow. I asks who’ s all going and she said just her and I she thought and smiles. I leave it as that and politely reply that sure, if my wife doesn’ t have any plans for us.

Later she emails me and says she hopes I join as it would be “ nice to get to know each other?” 
I mean WTF…  Why do you say/ act like this now!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I suppose there are a number of possible reasons for this, many of which reflect a degree of psychological distress on the part of the women...

One is that she is only attracted to unavailable men as she is terrified of the possibility of commitment.

Another possibility is that she is excited by the idea of luring a man away from his wife - which would show her how very powerful/attractive she is. Such a woman is very insecure and goes to extreme lengths to prove to themselves that they are attractive/good enough.

I am sure there are other reasons, and none of these may apply to this particular woman. Perhaps if you try to view it as a sign of some kind of distress it might help with empathy for her - but whatever you do, don't try to rescue her or give in to it - that is very risky territory for you to go down...

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Glen | 2010/07/03

Tell her U''ll accept her invitation + U''ll bring your wife along so that she can get to know her also. Then see what her reaction is. I can tell U that she is up to no good. U''ve only been married 2 mths. + should still be in a wedded bliss / honeymoon situation. She must go find her own guy + leave U alone to bask in the warm glow of love + intimacy with your wife.

Reply to Glen
Posted by: Girly Girl | 2010/07/01

Tell that woman at work to take a hike..and preferably not come back!
Geez, you have married a woman who has put you at Number one in her life, dont mess it up for a woman who doesnt give a damn, and is out to destroy your marriage! She lost her chance, tough luck! The best woman, your wife, won in the end!!!!
And the reason this other woman is now so interested in you, is probably cos she now wants what she CANT have!

Reply to Girly Girl
Posted by: Candy | 2010/07/01

You are married and i see no reason for u to cheat on ur wife... now ask me how... yes u do get sexless relationships... respect ur wife always... tell the woman staight u maried and u dnt do things without ur wife.. u do it together,,, i think she is attracted to u cause she admires ur wife...

Reply to Candy
Posted by: ** | 2010/07/01

STAY AWAY

Women like that like the chase, once you give in to her... you''ll be left divorced and with an empty bed.

Reply to **
Posted by: dippy | 2010/07/01

my wife was very loose and told me married men don't want to phone you and harass you after sex. no strings sex, that is what that girl wants.

Reply to dippy
Posted by: nataniel | 2010/07/01

Maybe she feels that since your married there will be no risks for just having a nice chat and a friend. It doesn''t really mean anything at this point in time.

Maybe you like her to much and want more.

i''m just saying maybe she just need a friend

Reply to nataniel
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/07/01

I suppose there are a number of possible reasons for this, many of which reflect a degree of psychological distress on the part of the women...

One is that she is only attracted to unavailable men as she is terrified of the possibility of commitment.

Another possibility is that she is excited by the idea of luring a man away from his wife - which would show her how very powerful/attractive she is. Such a woman is very insecure and goes to extreme lengths to prove to themselves that they are attractive/good enough.

I am sure there are other reasons, and none of these may apply to this particular woman. Perhaps if you try to view it as a sign of some kind of distress it might help with empathy for her - but whatever you do, don't try to rescue her or give in to it - that is very risky territory for you to go down...

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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