Posted by: Lenna | 2009-04-07

Women Abuse

Good day

I have a dillema here at work our cleaner is been beaten each and every week and the husband chases her out of their house when he beats her and the mother in law says women are not supposed to work they should listen to their husbands and she encourages the husband to beat her up. He does not even pay for the childrens school or support them in any way. Now she is crying and she said she went to the police at her area but there is nothing happening bcos they dont even arrest him or do anything so i was hoping that you ladies can help me to get an organisation that can help her and the kids even today she does not know where she will sleep as they were chased out of the house.

Please any information will be appreciated.

We are in Polokwane (Limpopo)


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Our expert says:
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A very sad story, especially a mother-in-law who encourages the beating of other women. I don't know where the nearest branch of POWA is to wherever you are, but it is the organization that should be able mto help, and which should know if there are any other closer organizations to help. She should be able to get legal advice, consider leaving him and taking the children, getting a court order forbiding him from harming, threatening or harassing her, and getting him to pay maintenance for the children's expenses.
Sorry that this anon is being so ignorant, callous and acist : " you cannot change their culture"... " they all do this !" --- another variety of abuse.

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Our users say:
Posted by: M | 2009-04-08

I am utterly shocked! I can' t believe people still have this backward mentality! Since when is it okay for a woman to be beaten? And by saying " that’ s the way it works"  you are actually endorsing this kind of behaviour!

Gosh, I really hope I don' t have friends like you if I' m ever in a situation like that!

Reply to M
Posted by: Anon1 | 2009-04-08

I agree with Anon, leave her alone. Believe me your help will not be appreciated, she will go back to him again. If you help you will be the one doing the wrong and she will definitely blame you and say her husband is angry because of you. Women who get abused and still stay with their husbands or boyfriends, black or white (I don' t know why colour always have to be brought into everything, gosh, I though we were passes these stupid racist noncense), will tell you over and over how he beats her, how she can' t get away from him (although there are shelters for them for free) etc. and in the end when push come to shuff YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DID THE UNTHINKABLE BY SAYING NASTY THINGS ABOUT HER HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND. I don' t believe that every single man would just hit a women without her saying a word or just sitting still. There are alot of women who will try and push a man to a place where he can' t take it anymore (doesn' t make it right for a man to hit a woman, it is totally wrong) but sometimes women should look at themselves and not always blame the men.

I used the feel sorry for women like this but at the end of the day they will tell you all their sad stories, you will try and help them and the moment the man wants to leave her she will cry and cry and say she can' t live without him.

Alot of women are just seeking attention. Live your own life.

Ps. Most of these women will tell you their husband abuse them and after the divorce you will find out that actually the husband did nothing to them (they are not there to tell you their side of the story) but in the meantime the women had an affair. How' s that for being abused? Who is abused now?

Reply to Anon1
Posted by: D | 2009-04-07 people like Anon and Daleem still exist?
Absolutely SHOCKING!!!!!!

Reply to D
Posted by: T | 2009-04-07

I think that by generalizing, so many women are beaten to death. It' s so easy to sit back and say, it' s not my problem! I agree with boo. Would you like to be beaten on a weekly basis? Have you ever been beaten? I have, and it is not pleasant. Regardless of race, where you live, abuse is not on!
I suppose you ladies would allow this to happen to a stranger being raped on the street, just because you don' t want to get involved, because the colour is not white, they live in a township. Therefore should be used to it.
You are selfish and a disgrace to the human race!!!

Reply to T
Posted by: Daleen | 2009-04-07

Okay first of all this forum is where we are allowed to have our own opinions! Secondly i tend to agree with Anon, does anyone really know what goes on in our townships??? No, of course not. there is more abuse and beating going on there than anywhere else in the world. So now you want to save just one lady who is going through this?? i doubt it very much. I dont think Anon is being racist or nasty, its a fact of life, they abuse and get away with it. Rather stay out of it as its something that we will never understand and even if this lady got out of this situation, chances are it will happen to her again, that just the way it works.

Reply to Daleen
Posted by: Anon | 2009-04-07

Perhaps you, Boo, should stop adding your two cents, what i am merely saying is NO ONE, not now not ever will change the way they think! its a fact that most of them do this. I never once said its accpetable, but why get involved. Rather concentrate on your own life! leave them to be!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: boo | 2009-04-07

They all do this? That' s a bit of an ignorant generalisation. Just because some people do things and blame it on " culture" , doesn' t mean that it' s right. How would you like to be that poor woman, who is beaten by her husband who in turn is cheered on by his mother? Basic human rights, anon. Just because some cultures practice female circumcision, doesn' t mean that it' s acceptable. It' s still an abuse of a person' s rights. Same thing here. Go back to your cave and be quiet unless you have something constructive to add.

Reply to boo
Posted by: Anon | 2009-04-07

Ag please! stop being so dramatic Boo! leave it alone, they all do this! end of story, leave it alone!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: boo | 2009-04-07

How could the police not do anything? They should at the very least have opened a case and kept a record of the abuse!
The poor woman, regardless of her culture, anon, has basic human rights!
Personally I would organise a group of the bigger guys at work to go around and beat the nonsense out of the man.
I applaude your efforts to help, lenna. People who stand by and allow things like this to happen are a huge part of the reason that there is so much abuse against women and children in this country. If I were in limpopo, I would offer shelter to the woman. Nobody should have to put up with abuse.

Reply to boo
Posted by: anon | 2009-04-07

dont get involved, you cannot change their culture! just leave it alone.

Reply to anon

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