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Question
Posted by: ME | 2010/05/20

withdrawing

My boyfriend is currently studying Enginering and I understand that exams are stressfull but it feels like he is completely withdrawing from me, he lives about 40km away from me so I only see him mostly on the weekends, my friends tell me the withdrawal is normal but why does it feel like i am slowly loosing him?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He lives far enough away that it would take a lot of time and effort to see you, and engineering is a stressful and very difficult subject to study, but one that would lead him to an excellent well-paid profession. Sounds like you are, frankly, being far too high maintenance and unrealistic in demanding too much time and attention from him, and this could very reasonably lead to him wanting to withdraw from you - unless you can accept the realistic constraints of the situation without in effect expecting him to abandon his career plans simply to please you, maybe this would be a wise move on his part.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ME | 2010/05/20

Wow thats quite a harsh reply but thnx

Reply to ME
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/20

He lives far enough away that it would take a lot of time and effort to see you, and engineering is a stressful and very difficult subject to study, but one that would lead him to an excellent well-paid profession. Sounds like you are, frankly, being far too high maintenance and unrealistic in demanding too much time and attention from him, and this could very reasonably lead to him wanting to withdraw from you - unless you can accept the realistic constraints of the situation without in effect expecting him to abandon his career plans simply to please you, maybe this would be a wise move on his part.

Reply to cybershrink

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