advertisement
Question
Posted by: flower1980 | 2011/03/26

Will it work?

Good day.

I am a33 year old with a 10 year old son. I am currently dating a 45 year old man, who has never been married before or has any kids, where as I am a divorcee. We had an affair while I was married, then I got my divorce to be with him. We had a stable relationship for 9 months, and then he got tired of playing the family man. Ok, I was heartbroken, for 3 months, because he was dating someone else who he met via speed/internet dating. It didn’ t work out, the minute he dump her, I was ready to take him back because I love him so much.

On our second week together he asks me to marry him, which I don’ t understand even though I said Yes. Reason being he has never said that he loves me, as ask him what it is he feels for me, he says that he feels attach. I mean really now.

My son lives with me permanently and then I have him every second weekend, so now my boyfriend only wants to see me every second weekend and I ask him why, then he came up with all sorts of excuses, for like giving my son a stable life, and spending time with him, but he is not saying my son is not welcome at his place. I mean how you can ask someone to get married and not except my son. His other excuse is that it brings balance in our relationship, which I don’ t believe.

I love this man so much, but in my head I feel like this is going to end up nowhere, and I don’ t know what to do. Should I run now or stay. I want him to accept my son, for I know he wants to be with me. He says after we have broken up, and got back together again, our relationship is much more relax, there is no pretense and no hard work, his opinion that it’ s much better then what it was before. So why do I get the feeling that he can’ t accept my son.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sometimes a man who has reached 45 without marrying or raising kids, may stil be very interested in women as gf's, but may not be keen on marriage and raising children. Be cautious about taking him back so easily - it really sounds as though whatever it is he is looking for in a woman, he;s not at all inetrested in being what you want and deserve in a man.
Certainly, if he cannot acept and love your son, then he doesn't truly love and care about you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Lola | 2011/03/28

Nice to know am not alone, or am? I might be an extreme case! I have always thought of myself as a passionate person, with me there is no middle ground, love is extreme and hate is extreme.
Ouch, that must hurt a lot ... I can only say do we really expect people to love our kids as prove that they love us. I cannot related to anyone `s child in that way but I accept that the person am with has a child. You know the saying that goes"  if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you?"  unfortunately this is not a man to be trusted with your heart or your son`s well being. He is only looking for a girlfriend. Are you looking for another dad and a husband? Or are you looking for a boyfriend as well having being there got a t-shirt? What I am saying is, you had that you let it go…  I am sorry  sometimes the grass is really not so greener… 

Reply to Lola
Posted by: Romany | 2011/03/28

Cheatimg while married to your son''s father...
I am sorry to say, walk away from this man, it will never work.
A man that can have an affair with a married woman (and the other way around) certainly is notlooking for a stable relationship, nevermind a marraige.
Af shame man, I think you left your child''s father for nothing, but hey, being a cheater .what do you expect?

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Phil | 2011/03/27

Open your eyes  you are being used and are conveniently available. Lets face it  besides how wrong it was to have an affair and being doomed in any case. LEaving a marriage and for nothing  the guy obviously isn''t that into you  has no morrals.

Lady, sorry my words are harsh. But wake up  and fix your life and get rid of the scum  and you try and become the type of woman your child can be proud of. And most of all  YOU can be proud of.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Maria | 2011/03/26

You already know that he is not averse to cheating with a married woman. He has broken up with you before. He clearly does not want to spend time with your son. I fail to see how you can think there could be a positive outcome to this relationship. What is it that you love so much?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/26

Sometimes a man who has reached 45 without marrying or raising kids, may stil be very interested in women as gf's, but may not be keen on marriage and raising children. Be cautious about taking him back so easily - it really sounds as though whatever it is he is looking for in a woman, he;s not at all inetrested in being what you want and deserve in a man.
Certainly, if he cannot acept and love your son, then he doesn't truly love and care about you.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement