Posted by: Mel | 2012-11-20

Will it ever change

Some 4 years ago, hubby and i stand in the divorce court coz of his cheating, ok fine the crying and begging does not stop, what do I do, feel sorry and I do not proceed. Get back together and everything is rosie. Anyway for the past 5 months, his cell phone is his baby, even go no. 2 with it. I got suspicious. Ok fine, I do not catch him with the phone or what not, he WAS too clever for me. 5/6 times he got home late, Friday was the Christmas party and he got home 2:20 in the morning. Again I leave it. So we go to my brother’  s braai on Sat and we have a lovely time. My brother has another lady staying in the back rooms. She joins us and the fun is going on, I know her, hubby know her. It was late and I told my S.I.L I am taking a small nap coz I have been up since 5 that morning. While I was napping my husband decided to go to this lady. Lights off and everything. My S.I.L was in the room and when she came out, he was missing, she suspected he was in this lady’  s room and woke up my brother coz he was also sleeping. He got up and went to that room, caught them red handed, busy kissing, about to do the deed when my brother walked in on them. I am proceeding AGAIN with a divorce and husband feels I am unnecessary coz NOTHING happened, I go on about a “  KISS”  …  …  …  . If my brother never went there he was gonna “  DO IT”  . I am distraught about it and I cannot believe my husband can stoop that low to even disrespect my brother’  s place. I am not the prettiest, but boy this woman is obese and plain down NOT NICE. I have class and I believe in looking my best at all times. Today I feel ugly coz I feel my husband pulled my skin off my face. This woman is seriously bad. How can a man do this to a woman time and again? Do they ever stop.

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Our expert says:
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Your message isn;t really clear. for instance, 4 years ago, WHO was crying and begging ? and for what ?
From your description, your husband has no respect your you, himself, or for any woman, and doesn't deserve to have you as his wife. Why not proceed with divorce ? He has promised to stop his flirting before and never kept his promises. And if he argues that sneaking of with another woman to kiss in a dark room is nothing for you to make a fuss about, is he joking ?
This is not something which "they" or "men" do, but something this sleazy man does. Any other woman who accepts him is foolish and will reap the sadness he will bring her.
Look after yourself. You don't deserve a low-life like him.

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Our users say:
Posted by: married women | 2012-11-28

My answer to ur question is it will never come to end ,so move on while u still can and good luck.

Reply to married women
Posted by: Kelly | 2012-11-21

Why you bashing the other womens looks...? I dont think it has much to do with anything. Your hubby is a low-life and you are rather silly for taking him back after the first time.
After some more crying and begging I guess you would take him back again? You kinda have only yourself to blame.
So either this time is final or you just go in cirlces with this one, ultimately it your choice.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Liza | 2012-11-20

Things won''t change unless your husband WANTS to change - and obviously he doesn''t! Gather the tattered remnants of your self-respect and follow through with the divorce. Then rebuild your life and your self-esteem until you feel ready to find a different partner who''ll be just as honest and faithful to you as you are to him.

Insanity can be defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result... Stop the craziness and live the life you deserve.

Good Luck,

Reply to Liza
Posted by: SK | 2012-11-20

Location, location ..... it is where this kiss happened. For him to be that disreptful to do it at your brother''s house speaks volume about how he views himself and how much value he puts on the relationship. He is not only disgraceful but is trying to drag you down to his level.
We have a tendancy of comparing ourselves to the other woman. Please do not start, it has nothing to do with you. Frankly I actually do not think it has anything to do with the woman too, he just wanted to be caught. Put on your stilletos Mel and start walking. It is going to be painful but have to be strong.

Reply to SK

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