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Question
Posted by: Disappointed | 2010-08-31

Will I ever get over this cont 2

Doc, thank-you for your guidance. I have listened. Maybe she did ''work her magic'' on my husband and he was in a vulnerable state of mind at the time and took the bait. I don''t want to excuse his behaviour but quite possibly this is her modus-operandi. Still makes me mad that he did what he did though.

I have thought about what you have said regarding him not wanting to be home for long periods of time and hence all the reasons to go out. I know he sometimes feels overwhelmed by the children and domestic life. But don''t we all feel like that sometimes? So I have always given him his space to still do things he enjoys. I have always known that he didn''t want his ''little wife living in his pocket''. I wanted to be like that initially but now I actually don''t mind the time away from him too. I used to hate being on my own but quite like my own company nowadays.

He has always been involved in associations and groups. He was on his student body at varsity and then into politics. He has always been involved in intellectual groups and enjoys having a bit of clout in his community. We joke and call him Mr Plod as he loves to tell people what to do but absolutely NO-ONE must tell him what to do and that includes me.

I think maybe the answer is to become uninvolved with our community, try to ''stick us back together'', maybe even go away together as a family and enjoy some away time without all this ugliness. Hopefully she will move onto someone else like a schoolyard bully does! *Sigh*

Thank-you again for your time and advice. It is much appreciated!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well. as you describe her as trying similar thins with other married me, the events do seem to be about her and initiated by her, and not about the men as such.
What's wise in a marriage is to recognize, as you do, that BOTH spouses need some time to themselves, and to arrange this so that EACH has some time to themselves, with the other taking on the children and other home responsibilities to enable that to happen. And also, of course, they seek to enjoy some shared family time. Good luck with your plans. Let's hope you both manage to bore this awful woman and send her off to find fresh fields for mischief.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Disappointed | 2010-08-31

Thx Doc! I feel better having spoken to you. I also strangely feel more empowered. Thanks again!

Reply to Disappointed
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-08-31

Well. as you describe her as trying similar thins with other married me, the events do seem to be about her and initiated by her, and not about the men as such.
What's wise in a marriage is to recognize, as you do, that BOTH spouses need some time to themselves, and to arrange this so that EACH has some time to themselves, with the other taking on the children and other home responsibilities to enable that to happen. And also, of course, they seek to enjoy some shared family time. Good luck with your plans. Let's hope you both manage to bore this awful woman and send her off to find fresh fields for mischief.

Reply to cybershrink

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