Our expert says:
Why does he need to have coffee or drinks with other people ( rather than perhaps during the day in relation to business ) without taking you along ? Anyhow, she sounds like a bitter "woman scorned" who is delighting in making either or preferably both of you, feel bad. Together, you and your husband might consider getting a restraining order to forbid her from contacting or harrassing either of you. How about changing both of your phone numbers, also ?
See a marriage counsellor, together, to strengthen your relationship. And fustrate her by being and appearing, happy. Marriage counselling, and perhaps a few sessions of personal counselling for yourself, would be a very wise investment
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