Our expert says:
Can't you raise this in conversation, perhaps in relation to how it felt for him to have all those relatives pushing him to get married ? IS he taking steps towards seeing that the lobola gets paid ? Sometimes people, men and women, slow down and dig their heels in and slow down when people try to push them, even in a direction they actually want to go !
Rather than simply asking him the main question, alone, it might work better to talk about the whole issue of marriage, how everyone else seems to want it for you, you're happy to move in that direction, but you don't feel sure what he wants.
Again, Obvious raises the point I so often have to raise, that if you give a man everything he wants in a marriage, without marriage, why would he want to change ?
I also like Obvious's point that if you two are anywhere near close enough to actually get married, it shouldnt be that hard to talk about this.
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