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Question
Posted by: Bubbles | 2011/03/07

Will

Hi there CyberShrink,

Trust that you are well.

Me and my fiancè  is in a huge fight about this - I know this is not a question for a shrink, but I would love to just hear your opinion anyway:

My fiancè  wants to leave his estate to me and then 10% of it to his nieces and nephews. (his estate is not a huge sum).
It is not about the money, but should we not form a union and partnership after the wedding and everything goes to the surviving spouse? It is all about the principle to me.

Thank you kindly  -)


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well ? As well as can be expected. By someone not expecting very much !
I understand your felings, but have heard no such "principle" ever experessed. Indeed, it is usual that people who are wise enough to make wills ( and if you don't, the disposal of your stuff goes according to certain laws and often very much not the way you would want it to go ) make several bequests and don't leave every single cent to their spouse.
If I remember rightly, William Shakespeare left his wife his "second-best bed, and I don;t remember who got the best one.
Is 10 % to members of his family he happens to care about, really so awful that it deserves a huge fight ?
I assume you have also made a will, and have left everything you have or ever will have, entirely to him ? Might you not want to leave a little something to your mom or someone ?

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9
Our users say:
Posted by: MEL | 2011/03/08

I am currently a law student and having passed law of persons and family law I hope my advise can help you in some way.
You see there are 2 types of wills.
Testate and intestate, testate is where the person that died left a valid will where he states what he wants to leave to who,intestate is where someone dies without leaving a will,what will happen then is that the surving spouse, whether a legal civil marriage or even if you are just civil partners (living together) the court will most likely give most of the money to the surviving spouse or his/her surviving children.
In the case where there is a valid will the court will mostly side with testers will as this was his property and his wish. You can sue if you want if at the time, it seems that that 10% is to cover for your current living expenses that was created with him and you wont be able to adhere to your normal living standards without it, but then also the nieces must be in a situation where it should also not benefit as an improvement in life quality.

My personal opinion unless he is a multi millionare don''t even bother with this, he loves his nieces and this is obviously important to him, let it be..


Thanks :-)

Reply to MEL
Posted by: Butter | 2011/03/08

You must be marrying into serious wealth then i assume?

Or am I out of touch and is it normal to discuss such matters with a
fiancè  before tying the knot? Unless your fiance is dying of some terminal illness?

Reply to Butter
Posted by: l agree with you. | 2011/03/07

l agree with your principles and the advice given to seek legal councel.
All other advice given seems emotional 2 me.
10% of a million rand property - pretty average these days
= R100 000

Reply to l agree with you.
Posted by: In the know | 2011/03/07

He may not have much now but in a few years it would be 10% of assets including car, house, furniture, savings, investments, death benifits and pension!Remember most young people forget that an employers pay out of death benifits and provident funds can be high.
Also should he die after you have had children u will need every cent u can get to raise them.
E is right - get legal advice.
Worst case is(if he does not update his will regularly) you could be a pensioner who has to give 10% value of the estate to nephews/nieces who have all qualified as doctors.......think about it!!!!!!!
Personally l think he should leave his estate to you with an agreement that when u die you leave a % of any remaining assets to them.
His first concern should be for your wellbeing.

Reply to In the know
Posted by: e | 2011/03/07

See a lawyer. u r right if he dies would you have 2 sell your home to give them 10%?
DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE OTHER THAN A LAWYER......trust me on this

Reply to e
Posted by: Mzulu | 2011/03/07

Eish abafazi...!!

Reply to Mzulu
Posted by: Casey | 2011/03/07

Your Fiance has the right to choose the beneficiaries of his will.

Reply to Casey
Posted by: Vaal Donkie | 2011/03/07

What principle? Surely if he cares about his nieces and nephewes you should be encouraging him to leave something to them in his will. It''s only 10% at any rate.

Reply to Vaal Donkie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/07

Well ? As well as can be expected. By someone not expecting very much !
I understand your felings, but have heard no such "principle" ever experessed. Indeed, it is usual that people who are wise enough to make wills ( and if you don't, the disposal of your stuff goes according to certain laws and often very much not the way you would want it to go ) make several bequests and don't leave every single cent to their spouse.
If I remember rightly, William Shakespeare left his wife his "second-best bed, and I don;t remember who got the best one.
Is 10 % to members of his family he happens to care about, really so awful that it deserves a huge fight ?
I assume you have also made a will, and have left everything you have or ever will have, entirely to him ? Might you not want to leave a little something to your mom or someone ?

Reply to cybershrink

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