advertisement
Question
Posted by: Dirk | 2011-03-03

Wife with 2 personas

Hi

I very concerned about my wife and our marriage.

We dated for 12 months whereafter we got engaged. She soon started using the Pill after the engagement.

We have been married for 3 months now and we are having weekly fights as she is having these ''silent'' moments where she refuses to talk. Even her eyes look different during these episodes. I try and let her open up to talk as to what is bothering her but she just says she had a bad day at work and that I must respect her for being quiet. I have mentioned to her that we must see a counsellor but she declined.

I do love her but I am scared going home after work as I do not know what kind of mood to expect.

I will do anything to save my marriage.

Please help
D

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some people like to talk about whatever is troubling them, others prefer to keep quiet and think about it on their own. Why not respect her wish to keep quiet ? You seem to see these episodes of silence as risking your entire marriage ; she does no seem to see them in the same light, at all. Are there other reasons why you feel the marriage is at risk ? Or is it mainly that you feel excluded and shut out in such eipsodes, and feel that something sinister could be happening, which you cannot deal with, not knowing what it is ?
This sounds like a recent problem ( you've been married only 3 months ) - it may well fade or whse may become more open to the idea of some couples counselling sessions. Maybe try alking more pleasantly with her BETWEEN these eipsodes, so she can be reminded that it is safe and pleasant to chat with her husband

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Mmmmmmmmmm | 2011-03-03

Bro, eyes changing? I think (and this is just my own limited opinon) you should maybe arrange somehow a nice brief 3 or 4 day break away, like a little holiday so you can both calmly talk about whats going on and most importantly your wife can have a hoidiay.

Next to this the only other thing you could do is help take the load off of her by helping out at home.

Reply to Mmmmmmmmmm
Posted by: Dirk | 2011-03-03

Thank you for the reply. But is it normal to be in a bad mood 3-4 days every week?

Reply to Dirk
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-03-03

Some people like to talk about whatever is troubling them, others prefer to keep quiet and think about it on their own. Why not respect her wish to keep quiet ? You seem to see these episodes of silence as risking your entire marriage ; she does no seem to see them in the same light, at all. Are there other reasons why you feel the marriage is at risk ? Or is it mainly that you feel excluded and shut out in such eipsodes, and feel that something sinister could be happening, which you cannot deal with, not knowing what it is ?
This sounds like a recent problem ( you've been married only 3 months ) - it may well fade or whse may become more open to the idea of some couples counselling sessions. Maybe try alking more pleasantly with her BETWEEN these eipsodes, so she can be reminded that it is safe and pleasant to chat with her husband

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement