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Question
Posted by: Gerhard | 2012-01-23

Wife - up and down

I have noticed some behaviour changes with my wife the past few months. Recent occurance was where she is this friendly person for 7 days and then without any notice she becomes quiet for no specific reason. I would then enquire if I had done something wrong etc to give explenation for this silence and unhappy facial expression. Her explenation is that she is feeling down every now and then (about every 10 days) and this is her way of ''re-charging''... These ''re''charging'' sessions can sometimes last up to 7 days at a time. Is it unfair of me not to accept this beahviour? I have mentioned to her the option that she might be depressed but she declined it as well as seeking help for it. On another note, she mentioned to me that she is tired of cooking every evening for me. I then offered that I will cook supper 2 nights per week and do grocery shopping for this on the way from work. She declined my offer as she does not weant me to buy groceries as it is her job to do. Now how can I help if she declines my help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A good friend of mine has the same trouble with her husband. I guess in the old days one would simply call such a person "moody", and leave them alone during their down times. Though reminiscent in some ways of Bipolar Disorder, in Bipolar the mood swings are far more severe and extreme, and last much longer.
As for the cooking issue, she seems to be giving mixed messages - rejecting the daily cooking as "NOT my job as a woman", but insisting on doing the shopping as "MY job as a woman.
Another part of the situation seems to be that while this is understandably problematic and puzzling for you, she doesn't seem to experience these matters as much of an issue for her, and thus doesn't want to seek assistance with them. That doesn't give you much room to maneuver
at this stage. Other than to continue to chat with her about how you find this a bit confusing, and asking for her advice on how best to respond - what helpful ideas do other readers have here ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Gerhard | 2012-01-23

@obvious. No, the moodswings happens about every 7 to 10 days, and lasts anything from 2 - 12 days.

Reply to Gerhard
Posted by: Obvious | 2012-01-23

Can you plot these moods to her menstral cycle - it could be hormones?

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-01-23

A good friend of mine has the same trouble with her husband. I guess in the old days one would simply call such a person "moody", and leave them alone during their down times. Though reminiscent in some ways of Bipolar Disorder, in Bipolar the mood swings are far more severe and extreme, and last much longer.
As for the cooking issue, she seems to be giving mixed messages - rejecting the daily cooking as "NOT my job as a woman", but insisting on doing the shopping as "MY job as a woman.
Another part of the situation seems to be that while this is understandably problematic and puzzling for you, she doesn't seem to experience these matters as much of an issue for her, and thus doesn't want to seek assistance with them. That doesn't give you much room to maneuver
at this stage. Other than to continue to chat with her about how you find this a bit confusing, and asking for her advice on how best to respond - what helpful ideas do other readers have here ?

Reply to cybershrink

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