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Question
Posted by: Eding | 2012/10/30

Wife still disturbed by the death of her ex

After deciding not to attend the Funeral of her ex bf 3 months ago,she is wondering whether she did the right thing or not.Is she still mourning for him ? Afemale friend suggested that i give her time to mourn as he was her first love. Is she really over him? I am confused by all this !

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Of course one can never tell, afterwards, whether one made the right choice previously - you know how things happened after the choice you made, but you cant go back and replay it based on the alternate choice.
Generally, whether with adults or children, I recommend that people should attend funerals, partly because if they don't they have every chance to regret it, and no chance to change their mind.
She's probably "over him" in the sense that obviously they will not meet again ; but if someone once really meant something to you, even if that relationship ended, you can still very reasonably mourn and experience some months of bereavement. She may already be helped by seeing a counsellor experienced at grief work, and this should surely be arranged if this sadness continues more than a further couple of months, or if it becomes severe enough to interfere with her normal life activities

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Vovo | 2012/10/31

I think its nonsense. Who is she in love with. The were not married. If you do the same thing to her how will she feel.

Reply to Vovo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/30

Of course one can never tell, afterwards, whether one made the right choice previously - you know how things happened after the choice you made, but you cant go back and replay it based on the alternate choice.
Generally, whether with adults or children, I recommend that people should attend funerals, partly because if they don't they have every chance to regret it, and no chance to change their mind.
She's probably "over him" in the sense that obviously they will not meet again ; but if someone once really meant something to you, even if that relationship ended, you can still very reasonably mourn and experience some months of bereavement. She may already be helped by seeing a counsellor experienced at grief work, and this should surely be arranged if this sadness continues more than a further couple of months, or if it becomes severe enough to interfere with her normal life activities

Reply to cybershrink

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