Our expert says:
Maybe there's a lack of respect involved, but it sounds far more as though BOTH of you have a lack of relationship skills, including the skills of dealing with conflict and disagreement, and relationship counselling / marriage counselling, would be an excellent idea, for both of your sakes, to gain these skills and work things out, together, far better than at present.
I am a bit surprised, if both of you are as attached to your own families as you seem to be describing, that you don't both enlist your families to help you find solutions, and to encourage both of you to invest emotionally and sincerely, in such marriage counseling, as it would benefit everyone. In the current situation you describe, apologise to her again, and make it clear that you want to solve the problems between you that have been distressing her, and that you are sincerely convinced that working with a counsellor would be the best way to achieve this --- and that while she may see these isues as your fault, you want her to be an esential part of finding the right solution, as you want her to be happy, as well as yourself. Her participation is essential, beause not only must she be part of any workable solution, but from your description ( though it would not at this stageb be useful to tell her () she is clearly part of the problem, too ).
As Sam suggests, the way she is behaving could well be a form of Denial, which is rarely a great and effective way of solving such difficulties.
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