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Question
Posted by: ELIZABETH | 2011/05/06

WIFE LEFT UNSATISFIED

I AM MARRIED FOR 6 YEARS AND OUR SON IS 18 MONTHS OLD. WHEN WE GOT MARRIED WE MADE LOVE AT LEAST 3 TIMES A WEEK, IT HAS GONE DOWN SO MUCH THAT HAVENT DONE IT KNOW FOR 6 WEEKS. I ASKED HIM LAST NIGHT IF HE HAS NOTICED IT, HE SAID NO. I ASKED HIM IF IT DOESNT BOTHER HIM THAT WE NEVER MAKE LOVE ANYMORE AND HE AGAIN SAID NO. HE IS NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR, I AM SURE OF IT, WORKS LONG HOURS AND OUR SON IS VERY TIRING AT THE MOMENT. HE IS ALSO NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING THINGS INTERESTING LIKE MOVIES OR TOYS, OR WILL NOT DO ORAL ON ME EVEN THOUGH I GIVE HIM. HE IS ONLY 31 YEARS OLD AND I AM 29. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I SHOUD DO?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I understand that this is frustrating for you. Stress and fatigue can decrease the desire for sex. Sometimes men feel emotionally neglected and in competition with the baby. Ask some one to take care of your baby once a month and then the two of you have quality time together. Revive that 'bbrrrr-feeling'! You will find that initially you have little to say to each other (at this time your communication is most likely limited to 'how was your day? Did you buy bread? The baby did this or that today.. I paid the electricity bill'...etc.). Compliment him (when was the last time that you told him how handsome /strong he is, made him feel wanted for more than just sex? Be patient.You will most likely say that you are also neglected - and yes most likely you are also the 'nurturing incubator cook and bottle washer' at this stage. But keep in mind - we have the tools to get them going and you can make the marriage work for you. Just revive the dating game. Children grow up and leave home and then you still want to be married... DEidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: desperate | 2011/05/20

Hi there -I know how you feel- I even went on a diet-lost 18kgs but no interest in sex.I hope things go better

Reply to desperate
Posted by: moa | 2011/05/10

girl you are in denial and you want to turn it around and blame yourself? your situation is worrying! good luck.

Reply to moa
Posted by: Ricky | 2011/05/09

ok 7 to 4 is actually normal hours, I take that one back

Reply to Ricky
Posted by: two-stone | 2011/05/06

Elizabeth, I went through very much the same thing after our daughter was born. It was a difficult time as my ex-wife had a much higher sex drive than me and she became very impatient with me. I could not make love to her for a long time as i had watched her giving birth to my daughter and it affected me HUGELY. I had to really work at turning off my thoughts as all of a sudden her private parts had lost their " sexiness"  and become something else totally related to our child - breasts for feeding etc etc. I don''t know if I am just strange and or even if this is your husband''s problem, but it was mine. Luckily, in time, all came right. Three years later she left me for her gym instructor! Good luck!

Reply to two-stone
Posted by: ELIZABETH | 2011/05/06

CHRIS, YOU ARE DISGUSTING. I AM TALKING ABOUT MY MARRAIGE HERE!!
RICKY, HE WORKS FROM 7 TO 4, THEN PICKS UP OUR SON FROM CRECHE AND IT HOME EVERY TIME BEFORE ME. I MEANT HE WORKS VERY HARD.
HE WAS ALWAYS A MORNING PERSON, WANT TO GO TO SLEEP AT 8:00 BUT BE UP BY 5:00 AGAIN WHILE I AM THE COMPLETE OPPISITE. I AM OVERWEIGHT AT THE MOMENT, I THINK MY BODY IS THE PROBLEM. BUT HE ALWAYS TELLS ME HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM FOR HIM, THAT IS WHY I CANT UNDERSTAND HOW SEX CAN NOT BE IMPORTANT TO HIM...

Reply to ELIZABETH
Posted by: XXX | 2011/05/06

If he is not having an affair then it could be stress and/or certain medications that can result in this.I would suggest he goes to a dr

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Ricky | 2011/05/06

From experience..... what you say bothers me :-
1. " He works long hours"  - Does he now? So did my husband
2. I f he is not getting it from you.... 99.99% sure, he is getting it somewhere else.
Sorry, that''s reality. I too was in denial for many many years,

Reply to Ricky
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/05/06

I understand that this is frustrating for you. Stress and fatigue can decrease the desire for sex. Sometimes men feel emotionally neglected and in competition with the baby. Ask some one to take care of your baby once a month and then the two of you have quality time together. Revive that 'bbrrrr-feeling'! You will find that initially you have little to say to each other (at this time your communication is most likely limited to 'how was your day? Did you buy bread? The baby did this or that today.. I paid the electricity bill'...etc.). Compliment him (when was the last time that you told him how handsome /strong he is, made him feel wanted for more than just sex? Be patient.You will most likely say that you are also neglected - and yes most likely you are also the 'nurturing incubator cook and bottle washer' at this stage. But keep in mind - we have the tools to get them going and you can make the marriage work for you. Just revive the dating game. Children grow up and leave home and then you still want to be married... DEidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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